When We Need Each Other
by dawneh
Summary: Sequel to When I Need You Most & When We Need Each Other. After everything JP now waits for the day Craig comes home... for good!
1. Chapter 1

John Paul's fingertips ran lightly over the smooth shiny paper of the calendar that hung on his bedroom wall. His fingers paused over one date. The date had been circled several times in red pen. The red circle had then been coloured in with bright yellow highlighter pen. A while later the fluorescent yellow circle had had the name CRAIG written through the centre in black marker pen.

The date on the calendar was three weeks and four days away. Three weeks, for days and about twelve hours.

John Paul marked each day off his calendar with a cross, deleting the days as they passed and urging more quickly the one in a red circle, with yellow highlighter and black marker. The day Craig Dean was coming home. The day he was returning home, for good.

With a yawn John Paul rubbed his eyes and allowed his weary body, dressed only in his boxers, to collapse onto his bed. Finals were a matter of days away and he had been studying every moment that he could, sometimes until he fell asleep at his desk. As much as John Paul wanted to get a good degree for himself, he also wanted to make everyone else proud of him. He wanted to make his family proud. He wanted to make Myra proud. And above all, he wanted to make Craig proud.

Pulling a photograph from under his pillow John Paul smiled. He let his eyes roam lazily over the picture. First studying the gentle features of Craig's gorgeous face before moving down over the tanned bare chest, John Paul let his fingers touch at the bare skin in the photograph, wishing it wasn't just a picture he held in his hand. Finally John Paul's eyes fell to where he knew Craig's hand was located. His long strong fingers wrapped around the firm erection that John Paul had coaxed from him. John Paul felt his own body twitch in response to the picture. No matter how many times he looked at it he always felt the same. Always got the same deep ache in his flesh to be rejoined with the erotic figure in the picture.

"Miss you," John Paul whispered to the photograph, his lips touching lightly at its surface.

For a while John Paul had come to the conclusion that Craig was possibly psychic. Whenever John Paul was thinking of Craig it seemed that Craig chose that exact moment to send a text.

After some consideration John Paul realised that as he spent so much of his time thinking about Craig it only stood to reason that Craig's texts would, on occasion, coincide with these times.

As he looked at the sexy picture in his hand John Paul wasn't surprised to hear the text alert of his phone sound next to him.

Accessing his messages John Paul smiled at the name he knew would be displayed… Craig.

"Missing you…" Craig's message read. Maybe he was a little bit psychic.

"U 2… been thinking about you…" John Paul replied.

Craig's response seemed to arrive in seconds. "What U been thinking?"

Despite the fact that John Paul was only reading words on his phones display he could still hear the deep suggestive tone of Craig's words and his eyes flicked back to the naked photograph that was resting on his lap.

"Wish you were here so I could show you… looking at your photo."

"Wish I was too… tell me… got your pic here."

John Paul keyed a few words into his phone and then changed his mind. He needed more than static words on a screen. He needed Craig at his side but as that wasn't possible he would settle for hearing the man's voice.

"I was waiting for another text," Craig said as he answered his phone after only one ring.

"Thought I'd call instead… wanted to hear you," John Paul told him, his phone pressed tightly to his ear as he looked again at the photograph of his lover.

"Glad you did… where are you?"

"At home… in my room… you?"

"Same… what ya doing?"

"Talking to you!" 

"John Paul!" Craig laughed gently, "I know THAT… what else are you doing…"

John Paul took a slow deep breath. "I'm looking at your picture… wishing I could touch you right now… wishing I could taste you… take you in my mouth…"

"God now I really wish I was there," Craig said in a husky voice. His eyes were locked on the image of the beautiful blue-eyed man posing seductively in the picture in his hand and he desperately wished that it was the man's flesh he was touching, holding, not just a photograph. "Are you still looking at me?"

"Yeah… you look gorgeous… so fucking sexy…"

"Are you hard?"

"You know I am."

"Are you touching yourself? I want to imagine you touching yourself…"

John Paul let his hand roam to the growing hardness of his groin, rubbing it lightly through the soft cotton of his boxers and a small sigh slipped from his lips.

"I wish I was there watching you right now," Craig breathed heavily into the phone. His eyes were fixed on the glistening tip of John Paul's cock that seemed to stand out in the photograph, beckoning him and tempting him. Without thinking Craig let the picture flutter to his side as his hand slid inside his own underwear to grasp at his growing erection.

"What would you do if you were here?" John Paul asked breathlessly as he freed his aching cock to the air and began to stroke it slowly.

"Nothing…"

"Nothing?"

"No… I'd just watch you… I'd watch you touch yourself… watch you wank yourself… watch as you make yourself come…"

John Paul swallowed heavily. He could almost feel Craig's presence in the room, Craig's eyes following his hand as it moved along the length of his cock and the thought of Craig watching him made his body shudder with excitement.

"You just wanna watch me?" John Paul asked as his breathing got heavier and his hand seemed to take on a life of its own, moving faster and gripping his cock firmer.

"I can picture you right now," Craig said, his eyes flickering half closed as he pictured John Paul lying on his bed pleasuring himself, an action that Craig was quickly mirroring himself. "God you would look so hot… I can hear you moaning louder as you get closer to coming… I wanna watch you come John Paul…"

"Fucking hell Craig," John Paul gasped as his entire body trembled with anticipation. "I wish you were here now… I wish you were watching me…" John Paul moaned into his phone as his cock throbbed with urgency.

"That's it John Paul," Craig encourage as his own cock pulsed heavily in his grip, his climax racing quickly towards conclusion. "I'm right there now… watching you… let me see you come John Paul… let me hear you…"

"Oh god Craig…" John Paul arched his back as a pressure that seemed to build from his toes tore through his body making him moan loudly as his climax erupted from him, coating him in the thick white heat of his passion.

Craig pressed his phone tightly to his ear as he soaked up the sounds of John Paul's orgasm, letting the moans wash over him as his hand moved harder and faster over his cock until he convulsed with pleasure and, crying out John Paul's name, came heavily, spilling over his belly.

The men listened to the sounds of each others breathing for a few moments before John Paul managed to regain his power of speech.

"Wow… that was…"

"Wasn't it…"

"I should so call you more often…"

"We'd never get any study done that way!" 

"True… but it might be worth it." John Paul grinned as he spoke, trying to stifle a yawn that escaped from his mouth.

"You sound tired."

"It's you," John Paul accused, "You've worn me out."

"Just you wait till I get back home…. THEN I'm gonna wear you out!"

"Promises, promises…"

"You'd better get some rest," Craig said with a sigh, "Don't want you falling asleep at your desk again."

"I suppose… at least I know I'm gonna sleep well tonight."

"Yeah me too!"

"Goodnight Craig."

"Goodnight John Paul."

"Oh Craig?"

"Yeah?"

"Love you…"

"Love you too."

As the phone call ended John Paul's eyes lifted to his calendar. Three weeks, for days and about eleven hours. He could hardly wait.

---

The bright sunshine seemed to bathe John Paul's skin as he walked through the centre of Hollyoaks village. Its warmth coated his bare arms and seemed to tempt the fragrance from the early blooming flowers in a gentle scent that filled his nostrils as he breathed deeply.

Four days. Four days until Craig was coming him. Four days and they never had to be apart again.

John Paul swung his arms as he walked. His steps almost skipping over the cracked paving stones as he headed towards Drive N Buy. It might be four days until Craig came home but John Paul was stocking up on chocolates and snacks and beers now because, as soon as Craig Dean walked through that front door, John Paul wasn't sure how long it would be before he was prepared to let him exit it again.

Running his list of shopping requirements through his head John Paul suddenly stumbled. Closing his eyes for a second he shook his head and looked again. It couldn't be. Coming out of the alleyway was a dark haired man that looked remarkably like Craig. But Craig wasn't due home for four days…

The dark haired man had stopped as he saw John Paul and now, slowly and tentatively, the two men took careful steps towards each other.

When they were only a few feet apart John Paul stopped moving. His heart seemed to be racing uncontrollably and all conscious thought left him as his mind and body were consumed by the beautiful image that was still walking slowly towards him.

Craig's soft mouth curled into a deep smile as he reached John Paul and he took a moment to fall into the mystery of his bright blue eyes.

"Craig…" John Paul couldn't keep the amazement from his voice as he touched his hand against Craig's chest in an attempt to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming.

"Surprise!" Craig said with a small laugh.

"You're early…"

"I needed to see you… don't mind do you?"

Rather that answer with his voice John Paul responded by kissing Craig deeply. His lips pressing hard against Craig's as his tongue sought out the taste he had been without for so long.

"I'll take that as a no," Craig said with a breathless laugh as John Paul finally let him go.

"I think I can cope with you being home early," John Paul said as he slipped his hand into Craig's, their fingers automatically curling together as they started to walk.

"Let's get a coffee," Craig suggested as the approached Il Gnosh, "I wanna sit down and talk to you."

Once the two men had ordered their drinks they sat looking at each other across the table, their fingers still interlocked as if they couldn't bare to stop touching each other even for a second.

John Paul was reminded of a time a few years earlier when he had sat at that very table with the young man he loved, their hands tightly grasped together, but hidden from view beneath the table top. Craig had been so afraid of other peoples reactions and other peoples opinions back then. What a difference John Paul saw in the man before him now. Craig's eyes were strong with a confidence that only experience can give you and John Paul was eternally grateful that he had been allowed the chance to be a part of Craig's life again.

"John Paul look… err… there's something I need to talk to you about," Craig said a little nervously, "Well something I need to tell you really… and I don't know what to say…"

John Paul felt the world go black as a cold hand reached into his chest and gripped his heart. He had always dreaded this moment, feared it more than any other terror in the world and his lungs seemed to contract as he struggled to get air into them.

"The thing is… I've met someone else… I'm really sorry and I never meant to hurt you… but I really love her and I want to be with her."

John Paul couldn't swallow, he couldn't breathe and he couldn't think. The restaurant seemed to be spinning uncontrollably around him and he didn't know how to make it stop.

"John Paul… John Paul are you alright?" Craig's hand tightening around John Paul brought the world back into sharp focus and the young man's dark eyes were looking at him in concern.

"What did you just say?"

"I said are you alright?"

"No before that…"

"I said there was something I needed to tell you…"

"You didn't say anything else?"

"Like what?"

John Paul laughed to himself as he realised the words he had always feared only existed in his head, not once had they touched Craig's lips.

"It doesn't matter," John Paul said feeling slightly foolish, "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Well the thing is… I've been offered a job!" Craig couldn't keep the pride from his voice, or his eyes, as he spoke.

"Even before your results?" John Paul remarked.

"Yeah I know… I mean I couldn't believe it myself… but that Company… you know the financial one that I've been doing some part time work for… well they've offered to keep me on!"

"Wow, they must really be impressed with you."

"Of course," Craig replied with a smug grin. "OK I would be starting at the bottom… the pay's alright… not brilliant… but not bad. But it's the opportunity… the potential… in a few years… god I could be… I could be right at the top."

"I don't doubt it," John Paul said with a deep smile, which faded as a thought occurred to him. "So… they've offered you a job… in Dublin?"

"Yeah…" Craig's smile faltered as he saw the doubt in John Paul's eyes.

"And you've taken it?"

"No," Craig said, holding John Paul's hand even tighter. "I said I had to talk it over with my boyfriend first… that's why I'm home early… they want an answer in a couple of days."

"Is that what you actually said?"

"What?"

"That you needed to talk to your boyfriend?" It still amazed John Paul how good it felt when Craig used that word to describe him.

"Yeah I did," Craig said with a laugh, "I was gonna say I needed to talk to the love of my life… but that sounded a bit pretentious!"

"You really want this job don't you?"

"It's an amazing chance… I might never get that again."

"Then I think you should take it…"

"You do?"

"Of course I do," John Paul said as he saw the deep happiness in Craig's eyes, "God just looking at you I can see how much you want it… I mean I'll miss you… but we can still do holidays and weekends and…"

"No." Craig interrupted John Paul abruptly.

"No?"

"That's not what I want…" John Paul felt the tightness in his chest again. Maybe Craig really did want to end things with him after all.

"It's not…?"

"Of course not… when I said I needed to talk it over with you… I didn't mean if I should take the job… I meant if you would come with me."

"Go with you? To Dublin?" John Paul was almost certain he must have heard wrong.

"Yes go with me," Craig laughed as he saw the confusion in John Paul's beautiful eyes. "John Paul you idiot… I've spent enough time without you… I'm not doing that any more…"

"What if I didn't want to go to Dublin?"

"Then we don't go."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that!"

John Paul shook his head. "But this job… it means so much to you…"

"Not as much as you do," Craig insisted. "From now on it's the two of us… I'm going nowhere without you?"

"You'd give up that opportunity for me?"

"There'll be other jobs…"

"But you'd give up that one?"

"Without a second thought," Craig said, "Look you don't have to decide now… we've got a couple of days…"

Lifting himself from his seat John Paul leant over the table until his face was only inches from Craig's.

"When do we go?" he asked before pressing his lips softly against Craig's mouth.

---

"Well you've obviously not got dressed up for me," Craig said letting out a low wolf whistle as he entered the flat and saw Linda applying the final touches to her makeup.

"Craig!" she squealed excitedly as she rushed over to hug him and planted a large pink kiss against his cheek. "You're home early!"

"So I've been told," Craig replied returning Linda's embrace fiercely, "I guess I just couldn't keep away from you!"

"Yeah whatever," Linda said with a giggle as she pushed him away and returned to the mirror to replace her lipstick.

"So who's the lucky man?" Craig teased as he took a seat on the sofa. "Come and tell your Uncle Craigy all about him." As he spoke Craig patted the cushion next to him.

"Much as I would loved to stay in and chat with you love birds," Linda replied, giving John Paul a quick hug as she headed for the door, "I have a date… I will see you two tomorrow… don't wait up!"

John Paul slumped onto the sofa next to his boyfriend as they both watched the young woman skip merrily from the room.

"So tell me," Craig said in a serious tone. "What's this fella of hers like?"

John Paul thought for a moment. "Patrick… he's a nice guy… quite cute… Lin really likes him."

"Hmm… and is he good enough for our girl?"

Looking at the empty doorway where his flatmate had just been John Paul shook his head. "Not really… but then I don't think anyone would be would they? But he makes her happy… so I haven't had to hurt him yet!"

Craig laughed as he rested his head against John Paul's shoulder, the man's arm quickly slipping around him to pull him in close.

"Suppose I'm gonna have to let Lin know I'm moving out," John Paul said with a hint of regret. "You know I was only asking her today if she'd mind you moving in here when you got home."

"What did she say?" Craig asked as he snuggled deeper into John Paul's embrace.

"She said she'd always assumed you would!"

"She knows us too well…"

"Yeah," John Paul sighed softly, "I'm gonna miss her…"

"I know," Craig paused before continuing, "You are sure… that you want to come with me… move to Dublin?"

"Craig Dean," John Paul smiled, his eyes the brightest blue known to mankind, as he looked down on the gentle face of the man he loved. "I would travel to the ends of the earth to be with you… You're never getting away from me again."

"Good," Craig replied as he rested an arm across John Paul's middle and closed his eyes in contentment, "Cause I don't want to!"

---

Craig seemed to have drifted off to sleep with his head resting lightly against John Paul's shoulder and the younger man's arm holding him close. John Paul's eyes flickered constantly between the film that filled the TV screen and the man who was leaning against him.

The young blonde man couldn't have named the film if anyone had asked, nor could he have named a single character or even briefly outline the plot. Even when his eyes were focused on the TV his attention was still entirely consumed by Craig.

Craig was there, he was REALLY there. And this time it wasn't for a weekend, or a week or any extended visit. Craig was there, with John Paul, they were together and John Paul smiled as the realisation hit him, they weren't just together but they were actually planning a future. It didn't seem all that long ago that John Paul wasn't certain if he would ever get to see, get to hold Craig ever again and now, now they had their whole lives to look forward to and nothing was going to get in the way of it ever again.

Leaning his head towards Craig's John Paul breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of Craig that always managed to make his heart race that bit faster. Unable to resist John Paul touched his mouth softly to the top of Craig's head.

Long dark lashes flickered open as the deep chocolate pools of Craig's eyes turned to look up at John Paul. A smile filled his face as his sleepy eyes drank in the sight of the most wonderful man he had ever known.

No words were spoken as the two men looked into each other. There had always been times between them when words hadn't been necessary and this was on of those times. No verbal language has ever been created that could have expressed the intense volume of love that filled those two hearts as they basked in the love that looked back at them.

Letting his eyes close again Craig nestled deeper into John Paul's chest as his arm snaked across the man's middle and his fingers curled into John Paul's tightly.

John Paul could soon hear Craig's slow deep breaths and feel the soft rise and fall of the man's chest as sleep seemed to take him again.

Turning his attention back to the TV John Paul was surprised to feel his hand suddenly being pulled towards Craig's face as Craig then pressed a soft kiss against each fingertip.

John Paul smiled as the warmth of Craig's kisses touched against his skin. A smile that turned into a sharp gasp as Craig's lips parted and John Paul's forefinger was sucked inside the wet heat of his mouth.

Holding his breath John Paul turned his gaze to Craig's face, his eyes fixed on Craig's lips, which distended out in a pout as they covered John Paul's finger entirely and his soft hot tongue ran up and down its sides.

Letting his breath out in a sound that was a mixture of a sigh and a moan John Paul squirmed in his seat as his trousers started to get uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in the most wonderful way possible.

"Craig that is so not fair," John Paul said quietly.

"I don't know what you mean," Craig replied around John Paul's finger, his teeth gripping it gently as he spoke so that it couldn't escape him. Just before Craig's lips clamped back around John Paul's finger Craig managed to manoeuvre a second into his mouth and sucked on them both with the enthusiasm of a young child and a lollipop.

"Oh god Craig…" John Paul swallowed heavily as Craig's mouth consumed his fingers with a hot pleasure that made him ache delightfully. "That really is too much…"

"I can stop if you want," Craig teased, sucking John Paul's fingers even harder to the soft sounds of John Paul's whimpers.

"I… I didn't say that," John Paul stammered as he started to wonder just how much tighter his trousers could get before he either split them or caused himself some serious damage.

Craig smiled to himself as he filled his mouth with the wonderful flavour of John Paul's skin. He could already see the man straining against his trousers and with each flick of his tongue Craig could hear a fresh gasp slip from John Paul's lips.

Just as John Paul was wondering how much longer he could take Craig's teasing he felt the grip of the man's mouth relax and his damp fingers were released to the cool air. Craig quickly turned his attention to John Paul's neck, licking and nipping at his skin before breathing hotly in his ear as he spoke.

"You remember our phone call a couple of weeks ago?" Craig asked in a low seductive voice.

"Phone call?" John Paul asked in faked innocence, as if he hadn't entertained himself with memories of that call several times since.

"Oh well if you don't recall," Craig said pulling back slowly.

"I remember…" John Paul replied quickly, "God I remember…"

Craig smiled at the urgency in John Paul's voice. "I want to see it," Craig breathed, his mouth only a fraction of an inch from John Paul's neck. "I want to watch you… I can see how hard you are John Paul… let me see what you do about that when I'm not here…"

John Paul breathed deeply as Craig's mouth connected with his neck again, pulling the skin between his teeth and biting hard enough to cause pleasurable tremors to run down John Paul's spine.

John Paul's hand seemed to wander to his groin of its own accord, brushing firmly over his imprisoned erection as Craig's mouth sucked against his neck.

Slipping open the buttons of John Paul's shirt Craig let his palm breeze over the man's bare skin, pausing at his belly and then pulling away.

Resting back against the arm of the sofa Craig looked at John Paul with expectation. The man's soft exposed chest looked so edible that it took great restraint for Craig to hold back but ever since that phone call he had been imagining this moment. Not taking his eyes from Craig's John Paul shrugged off his opened shirt and threw it to the floor before gesturing at Craig's top.

"Do I not at least get some incentive?" he asked with a grin.

With a smile Craig quickly pulled his own top off over his head and threw it to the floor but, as John Paul reached out to touch him, he held out his hands in a gesture of denial.

"Uh huh," Craig tutted, "It's not ME I want you to touch… at least not right now!"

Looking at Craig's naked chest, his rich olive skin that John Paul knew tasted so good, John Paul slowly unbuckled his belt before undoing his trousers and easing them, and his boxers, down past his knees before pulling them from his feet, leaving him completely naked under Craig's appreciative gaze.

Craig's eyes drank in every drop of John Paul's milky skin, the pale dusting of fine hair that grew darker and thicker as it ran in a trail down towards the man's, now fully engorged and delicious looking cock. John Paul sat motionless as he enjoyed the sensation of Craig's admiring looks. In anyone else's presence John Paul would have felt very exposed and vulnerable being totally naked and completely observed. But having Craig look at him with undisguised adoration and lust only fuelled the fire that was already burning like a furnace in John Paul's groin.

Very slowly John Paul ran his hand over his thigh, noticing that Craig's eyes followed the movement exactly, running it higher until it reached his erection. John Paul gasped slightly as he allowed his fingers contact with the hard aching of his cock, wrapping them slowly around its girth and easing back the foreskin to reveal the deep coloured head that glistened with precum beneath.

Craig licked his lips as he watched the tip of John Paul's cock being revealed, his mouth watered at the memory of how good it tasted, how good it felt when it filled his mouth, or his arse, and he breathed deeply as his own cock throbbed its response to the erotic sight before him.

John Paul's eyes were half closed as he gripped himself tighter and stroked the length of his cock. Through his half closed lids he could still see Craig watching him with an intense look of desire on his face and that look made his body tremble as his hand moved faster.

"God you look incredible," Craig gasped as John Paul ran his free hand over his chest, stroking his erect nipples as his hand moved harder and faster along his cock. As much as he wanted to touch John Paul and to be touched by John Paul the sight of the beautiful man pleasuring himself was something beyond compare and Craig felt frozen to the spot as John Paul's breathing began to get heavier.

John Paul couldn't hold back the deep throaty moans as his climax began to build inside him and he slid his hand over his belly until it reached his heavy swollen balls. Rolling his balls softly in one hand John Paul pulled his cock faster, knowing that this wonderful pleasure wasn't going to last much longer.

Craig could hear the depth of John Paul's moans increasing and he knew that the man would soon explode in his satisfaction. Craig eyes flicked between John Paul's throbbing cock and the look of ever increasing excitement on the man's face. Craig had always expected that sitting watching John Paul like this would be a wonderful experience but he had never expected it to be so intoxicating. Despite not touching John Paul at all Craig still felt that he was involved in giving John Paul the pleasure that was getting ever closer and he urged John Paul onwards towards his final release.

"God John Paul you are the sexiest thing I have ever seen," Craig moaned as he pressed his hand against his own aching cock, "Let me see you come, show me just how good it feels… let me see you come… I wanna see it… I wanna hear it…"

"Oh god Craig…" John Paul's eyes sprang open as his body began to shudder violently and could see Craig's gaze fixed upon his cock and that vision was enough to finally push him over the edge. Crying out as he came John Paul pressed his back hard against the sofa, bucking his hips and curling his toes into the carpet as his cock pulsed heavily in his hand, the thick hot evidence of his joy spattering over his belly.

With a final moan and shudder John Paul's body went limp and relaxed into the sofa's cushions as he sighed in contentment. It was definitely the best orgasm he had ever given himself and he knew that was due entirely to the presence of his audience.

"Wow," Craig said with a smile. Taking hold of John Paul's hand he dipped one of his fingertips into the sticky white liquid on his belly before sucking it deeply into his mouth, savouring the flavour he knew and loved only too well.

John Paul's eyes shone as an amazed smile played over his lips. "That was amazing… thank you…"

Craig laughed. "It WAS amazing… but I didn't do anything… you don't need to thank me."

"It was amazing because of you."

John Paul sat forward and reached out to cup Craig's face in his hands, kissing him deeply as the man's tongue delved into the heat of his mouth.

Craig moaned into John Paul's kiss as a hand left his face and massaged into his still fully aroused, and exceptionally desperate, groin. John Paul made short work of divesting Craig of his trousers and, as their kiss deepened, he gripped Craig's cock in a mirror of the act he had just performed on himself.

Craig's moans grew louder as John Paul's hand moved over his length harder and faster as John Paul's tongue explored every inch of his mouth.

Within minutes Craig's body was shuddering with the urgent need for satisfaction and John Paul pulled back from the kiss to experience the pleasure of watching Craig's climax hit him. With a loud cry Craig shook as his cock's need exploded from it, its heat hitting against John Paul's belly and mixing with the spattering that was already there.

Once Craig's orgasm had subsided John Paul touched his mouth against Craig's lips again in a gentle loving kiss as their breathing began to slow down.

"Come on," John Paul said getting to his feet and holding out his hand to Craig.

"Where to?"

"I think we need to get cleaned up… besides it's late… time for bed." John Paul flicked off the TV.

Craig dragged himself upright and claimed John Paul's hand as the two contented men made their way towards the bathroom before spending a blissful night in each other's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Linda raised her eyes from her morning coffee as her flat mate and his boyfriend strolled into the kitchen. Her drink was much stronger than she would normally enjoy and Linda winced at its bitterness as she sipped the liquid slowly.

A strong coffee seemed a much-needed requirement after a late nights drinking and the caffeine hit seemed to be helping revive Linda senses. But the sight of the two men did much more to ease the throbbing in her temples.

It wasn't just that they were both dressed similarly in boxer shorts and baggy t-shirts, giving Linda a perfect view of four delightfully shapely legs, but it was the glow of complete contentment that seemed to radiate from the men as they entered the room.

Linda was almost certain that they didn't even realise they had hooked their fingers together as they walked, only letting go as John Paul walked to the kitchen and Craig pulled up a stool facing Linda, touching each other seemed to have become second nature to the men, as instinctive as breathing as just as necessary.

"So how did the date go?" Craig asked the pretty blonde with a cheeky grin.

"Fine," Linda replied feeling a slight flush rise to her cheeks.

"Why Linda… I do believe you're blushing," Craig teased, "I think the date was better than fine eh?"

"It was great," Linda admitted, "Better than great… perfect."

Craig smiled at the obvious joy in Linda's eyes, despite their slightly blood shot tinge, and felt a rush of affection for the young woman hoping that she was embarking on a relationship that would leave her as happy and fulfilled as Craig felt at that moment.

"So where is he then?" Craig asked with a sly wink.

"Hey," Linda said with mock objection, "What kind of a girl d'you think I am… he's at home of course…"

"You mean you didn't drag him back here for a night of unbridled passion?"

Linda giggled as Craig raised his eyebrows suggestively. "We're taking things slowly," Linda told him, "Don't wanna mess things up!"

"That's my girl," Craig grinned, squeezing Linda's hand gently as John Paul placed to mugs of tea on the breakfast bench and sat beside his boyfriend.

"Lin… there's something I… we… need to tell you." John Paul wrapped his fingers around his mug nervously as his eyes flicked between his friend and his lover.

Looking at the two men Linda smiled deeply. "Are you pregnant?" She teased, "Am I gonna be an auntie?"

"Linda I'm serious," John Paul said trying to hold back a laugh.

"Sorry," Linda replied in a voice that sounded far from sorry. "You're getting married… can I be a bridesmaid?"

"Lin!"

"Sorry… right… OK… Can I be best man?"

John Paul turned his eyes to Craig for help as he gave in to his laughter but Craig's giggles did nothing to help stifle his amusement.

"Go on," Linda said after a moment, "I'll be good this time… I promise."

Taking a deep breath John Paul took a tight hold of Linda's hand; looking into her face he remembered all the times she had been there when he needed her. The times she'd held him when he cried or distracted him with silly films and sillier stories when he was missing Craig so much he couldn't stand it and now, after everything that she'd done for him, he was leaving her behind.

"We're going to Dublin," John Paul said quietly.

"Dublin?" Linda looked at the two men before her and could see the concern in their eyes as they broke this news to her. "How come… I mean Craig's only just got back…"

"I've been offered a job Lin," Craig explained, "It's a brilliant opportunity… and… and I asked John Paul to come with me…"

"I couldn't expect him to miss this chance," John Paul said turning his eyes to Craig, "But I can't be without him anymore… I just can't…"

Linda pulled her hand from John Paul's grip and got to her feet. "I can't believe you're really leaving…" She said as she walked around the breakfast bench and stopped between the two men.

Putting her arms around both men Linda gave them a warm hug. "I think that's wonderful," she said with tears in her eyes.

"Really?" John Paul asked.

"Of course… you guys are gonna be so happy… I just know it… but you make sure you've got a spare room… cause I plan on visiting… LOTS."

"Deal," Craig said as he kissed Linda's cheek, "And you'll be welcome any time."

"I'm gonna miss you," Linda said as she looked at John Paul, her flatmate who had become her dearest friend. As much as it hurt to think of him so far away the look of unequivocal happiness in his soft blue eyes was enough to know that he had made the right choice, the only choice.

"I'll miss you too Lin," John Paul said as he wrapped both arms around her, pressing a kiss against her cheek as he pulled into a warm embrace.

"Hey… is no one gonna miss me?" Craig objected with a smile, making John Paul open his arms wider until the three friends were standing in the centre of the kitchen holding each other tightly.

"Just gotta tell my family now," John Paul sighed, "and yours… damn and Warren…"

"Who d'you wanna go and see first then?" Craig asked. "Your mum or Jake?"

John Paul shrugged. "Can't I just tell Warren?"

---

"Mum there's something I need to tell you…"

"Is everything alright son?" Myra looked at her boy with concern. She had been surprised to see Craig had returned home earlier than planned and the way John Paul was holding her hands tightly as Craig stood by his side made her nervous.

"We're going to Dublin…"

---

"You've just got back from Dublin," Jake said with a frown as his brother sat on the sofa beside him with John Paul's hand resting lightly on his shoulder.

"I know… but I've been offered a job there… and John Paul's coming with me."

---

"I don't understand why you have to go as well," Myra said as she looked deep into her son's brilliant blue eyes.

"I have to be with him mum… we can't be apart any more."

---

"So you're gonna be what? Living together… like… like a proper couple?" Jake asked uncomfortably.

"We ARE a proper couple Jake," Craig said kindly as he reached up and covered John Paul's hand with his own.

---

"How do you know it's gonna work this time?" Myra asked with concern.

---

"What makes you think you can do it this time?" Jake asked.

---

"You tried to go to Dublin once before."

---

"He was supposed to go to Dublin with you last time…"

---

"I was wrong last time mum," John Paul said, "Not going was the biggest mistake I ever made… I won't do that again."

---

"I wasn't sure who I was… what I wanted last time Jake," Craig said, "But I'm certain now. More certain that I've ever been of anything in my life."

---

"I love him mum."

---

"I love him Jake."

---

"Well that wasn't too bad," John Paul said as they walked into the centre of the village. Craig smiled as he looked at the gentle features of the beautiful man he was planning to make a life with.

"No turning back now," Craig replied.

"Good," John Paul said confidently, "Cause I have no intentions of… oh there's Warren."

Running to catch up with the club owner John Paul called out the man's name as he approached.

Warren turned at the sound of his name to see the blonde DJ approaching, closely followed by the youngest Dean.

"Warren, glad I saw you… there's something I need to tell you…" John Paul panted.

"What's up?" Warren asked looking at the two young men as their fingertips seemed to instinctively curl into each other. So it was true about his best DJ, just goes to show.

"I'm really sorry Warren… but I'm gonna have to resign."

"Look if some other club's offered you more money I'm sure we can talk," Warren offered. John Paul was the best DJ he'd seen in a long time and if extra money would keep the Loft jumping to his talents then Warren knew the sense of paying it.

"It's not that… I'm leaving… leaving Hollyoaks… well leaving Chester…"

"Oh yeah?"

"We're going to Dublin." As he spoke John Paul's fingers wrapped tighter around Craig's. Every time he said their plans out loud made them feel that bit more real, that bit more exciting.

Warren turned his eyes to the young dark-haired man. "So you're luring my best DJ away are you?"

"Sorry," Craig said with a shrug.

Warren smiled. He could tell by the look in John Paul's eyes that there was nothing he could offer that would tempt the young man from his plans.

"Oh well," Warren said with resignation, "Our loss is Dublin's gain." With a firm hand Warren squeezed John Paul's shoulder. "I hope it goes well for you… but if you ever fancy coming back to Hollyoaks… there's a job for you at the Loft."

"Thanks Warren," John Paul said with a deep smile as the older man walked away.

---

Craig felt a deep sense of déjà vu as he stood in the car park of the Dog waiting for a taxi to arrive. John Paul's suitcase was packed and leant against Craig's smaller bag, Craig was relieved that he didn't have to bother with all that packing again as most of his clothes were still in Dublin.

Watching as Myra pulled her son into her arms and whispered into his ear Craig felt that sharp pang of pain that always hovered in the background of his heart.

The scene was almost identical to the one a few years earlier. With the exception of Frankie Osbourne. This time Craig's mother wasn't there to say goodbye, to hug her son and wish him well.

A strong arm fell around Craig's shoulders and Craig looked around to see Jake smiling at him. He might not have his mother there to see him off this time, but at least he had his brother.

"So this is it then?" Jake said.

"Guess so… gonna miss me?"

"Nah… got used to you not being around!"

Craig punched his brother playfully before the older man pulled him into a tight embrace.

"You just take care of yourself OK," Jake said quietly, "And it you need anything… anything…"

"Thanks Jake," Craig said gratefully as his brother released his hold so that Jack and Steph could say their goodbyes.

"Are you sure about this John Paul?" Myra asked her son as she held onto his hands. John Paul smiled. The McQueen women flanked him on all sides but he could still see Craig through a gap between his sisters.

"I'm sure mum," John Paul replied, "This is what I want… what I need… Everything's gonna be fine… I promise."

"Well just you make sure you call… and come home sometimes to see your old mum OK?"

"Course I will," John Paul gasped as his family closed around him in a group hug that forced most of the air from his lungs.

A beeping of a taxi horn pulled both young men from the arms of their families.

As John Paul approached Craig he was surprised when Jake stepped forward and offered his hand.

Cautiously John Paul shook the older Dean's hand in a gesture that he would never have expected even a few months earlier.

"You look after my brother you hear me?" Jake said gruffly, a tone that was undermined by the glistening tears in his eyes.

"I will," John Paul promised, "Every minute of the day."

"Don't forget that spare room," Linda said as she followed her two friends to the taxi.

"You be good Lin," John Paul said hugging his friend goodbye.

"And let us know how things go with that fella of yours," Craig said as he joined in the hug.

One by one the men's families and friends stepped back, leaving the two of them facing each other by the taxi door.

"You ready for this John Paul," Craig asked as he threw their cases in the back of the taxi.

"I've been ready for this since the day I met you," John Paul replied, "The two of us… like this… it's all I've ever wanted."

"I love you Mr McQueen."

"Love you too Mr Dean."

The two young men waived goodbye to Hollyoaks as the taxi pulled out of the Dog car park and took them on the first part of the journey that would lead to their new life together.

---

"So what d'you think?" Craig asked as he stood in the centre of the living room of his Dublin flat. Craig had moved into this second flat after his first year in Dublin, gladly leaving behind the one Jack had originally secured for him as it held to many painful memories. It had been the flat that John Paul was supposed to share with him until that fateful day at the airport when everything fell apart.

But that was history now and Craig felt pride as John Paul looked around his home, their home, and the missing part of Craig's life in Ireland finally slotted into place.

John Paul took in the room with a soft smile on his lips. It was sparsely furnished with only the essentials of an old brown sofa, table and chairs, sideboard and a TV/games console. The colour scheme was of neutral beige tones and it looked as if Craig had made no real effort to personalise the space, which in truth, he hadn't. Until this day the flat had simply been somewhere to live but now that John Paul was there it had finally become Craig's home.

As John Paul's eyes travelled around the room they came to rest on the one personal item that was on show. Walking towards the TV set he picked up the framed photo that was displayed on top of it. In a small silver frame was the picture of John Paul and Craig dressed in their tuxedos. It was the picture Frankie Osbourne had carried with her until the day she died and the picture that finally convinced Craig that his mother still loved him.

"John Paul, what d'you think?" Craig repeated walking towards the younger man and placing his hands on his shoulders.

Turning John Paul to face him Craig was startled to see tears falling down the younger man's cheeks and a moment of panic gripped at his chest. It had all been going too well, too smoothly, he should have known life wouldn't work out so easily.

"John Paul what is it?" Craig asked with concern, "D'you not like the place… have you changed your mind… have I rushed you into coming here?"

John Paul smiled, despite the tears that were flowing over his cheeks and, placing the photograph back on the TV, he pulled Craig into his arms holding the man close as his tears continued to pour.

"John Paul tell me what's wrong," Craig breathed into the softness of John Paul's neck, his worry growing with each second as the fear that John Paul had changed his mind increased.

"Nothing," John Paul finally answered in a breathy tear filled voice, "Nothing's wrong… it's all perfect… you… me… this place… I just can't believe we made it Craig… we finally made it!" As he spoke John Paul pulled back from his warm embrace to look deep into the richness of Craig's soft brown eyes. The love he found shining there always made his heart race and this was no exception. Not so very long ago John Paul had tried to face a future without Craig Dean but now he knew he never had to do that again.

"You idiot," Craig said with a gentle laugh as he brushed John Paul's tears from his face, "You had me worried for a minute… I thought you'd changed your mind or something…"

"Never," John Paul promised, "This time we're for keeps Craig Dean… now how about you put that kettle on?"

"Well I would," Craig replied in an apologetic tone, "But we don't have any milk… or sugar… or tea bags… well anything really…"

"That's it," John Paul said with a wicked glint in his eyes, "I'm going back to Hollyoaks."

"Or we could just go to the supermarket."

"Yeah… OK… but only cause it's closer!"

"You are sure about this aren't you?" Craig asked grabbing a tight hold of John Paul's hands as a residual hint of doubt played in his eyes. "You do want to be here?"

"Craig," John Paul said, his smile a reflection of the happiness he felt, "There isn't a single place on this planet I would rather be… as long as I'm with you… it's all I need… now let's get this shopping in so we can really enjoy our first night together…"

Pressing his mouth against John Paul's soft lips Craig felt all of his worries and doubts melt away as the love behind their kiss assured him of everything he needed to know.

---

John Paul giggled, tried to stifle the giggle and realised that that only made the situation worse. Craig looked at him with a frown as he placed a packet of tea bags in the shopping basket.

"What's so funny?" Craig asked as John Paul's shoulders shook with silent laugher.

"Nothing… sorry…" John Paul replied between giggles.

Picking up a jar of coffee Craig looked at it for a second before placing it in the basket, which seemed to make John Paul laugh even harder.

"John Paul what is it?" Craig asked with a touch of annoyance in his voice that he couldn't see the joke.

"I'm sorry," John Paul repeated, taking a deep breath to calm himself, "It's just… you know… this… us… here like this…"

"I don't get it…"

"Just look at us," John Paul said with a grin, "We look like some old married couple!"

Craig looked down at himself, the wire shopping basket slung over one arm, the way he had seen his mother carry them countless times when he was a child. He grinned as he conjured up a mental image of himself carefully placing each selected item of shopping into the basket as John Paul ventured further up the aisle in search of more products from their list.

Within seconds Craig was giggling. There had been so much tension and heartache over the last few years that finally being in the place he wanted to be in his life, with the person he adored most in the world felt like the biggest achievement he could ever attain.

"I tell you something," Craig said putting the shopping basket on the ground and gripping hold of John Paul's jacket lapels. "If we're an old married couple… we're a damn sexy one!" Without waiting for a response Craig pressed his mouth hard against John Paul's, kissing him with a passion rarely seen in the tea and coffee aisle at their local supermarket. "Now let's get this shopping finished… cause I'm gonna cook you a meal…"

"You?" John Paul asked with wide-eyed astonishment, "You're gonna cook?"

"Yes me…"

"You're sure…"

"I will have you know I am a VERY good cook."

"You know I don't like Pot Noodles right?"

"Get over to that check out right now," Craig said giving John Paul a playful shove as he scooped the basket from the floor, "Before I change my mind."

"Promises promises!"

---

John Paul had teased Craig as he laid the table, placing an empty wine bottle at the centre with a single candle forced into its neck. But now, sitting opposite the man in the soft glow of the orange candlelight, John Paul saw the romantic beauty of the setting.

The flicker of the candles flame caused shadows to dance over Craig's features, selecting one at random to illuminate fully before hiding it way in the darkness a moment later. John Paul watched mesmerised as for one instant Craig's soft brown eyes would shimmer in the light and then the glow would touch over his lips before passing on to the gentle curve of his cheek.

Craig had all but cleared his plate, certain that the spaghetti he had cooked was delicious but unable to remember a single bite as all of his attention had been focused on the man across the table. John Paul's dazzling blue eyes sparkled under the radiance of the candles flame and Craig's heart ached with joy at the sight of such beauty.

Even as he had made his way to Hollyoaks a few days earlier Craig hadn't dare hope that he would be back in Dublin with the man he loved at his side. He had been so afraid that John Paul wouldn't want to move to Dublin and even more afraid that John Paul would insist he took the job anyway. With a smile that started from deep within Craig realised just how unfounded his worries had been. John Paul couldn't bare to be apart any more that Craig could.

"OK I take it back," John Paul said breaking into Craig's silent reverie.

"What's that?"

"You're not a bad cook!"

"I'm a brilliant cook," Craig insisted, getting to his feet and walking around the table to John Paul, "But there is something I'm even better at."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" John Paul asked allowing Craig to take his hands and pull him upright.

"Why don't I just show you?"

Craig kissed John Paul's soft mouth with a delicate passion that vibrated through his body as he turned and led the man towards the bedroom.

---

"OK… so you know Steve," Craig's boss, Colin, gestured to the dark haired man sat behind a desk. Craig had worked with Steve during his part-time job for the company and was relieved that he was being teamed with at least one person he already knew. "And this is Anthony." Colin continued, pointing out a fairer haired man with small round glasses and a cold appraising stare. Craig smiled at the man and received a blank look in response. "If you need anything these are the guys to go to… they've clocked up a good few years for the company between them and what they don't know doesn't need knowing. So I'll just leave you to settle in and get acquainted. Steve's got the latest files so as soon as you're ready just dive right it."

Craig smiled his thanks as Colin shook his hand and left the office.

Feeling slightly overwhelmed Craig made his way over to his desk and lowered himself into the chair. During his earlier work he had flitted from office to office filling in as and where he was needed but now he had an office of his own, albeit on that he shared with two other men, plus his own desk and chair. Resting his hands on the cool wooden surface of the desk Craig smiled to himself, he couldn't imagine how life could get any better than this.

"I was glad to hear you took the job," Steve said, "You did some good work around here… it would have been a shame to lose you!"

"Thanks," Craig replied, feeling his chest swell with pride. He had always got on well with Steve. The older man had a slight father-figure appeal to him, which could have been down to his slightly greying hair or possibly the strange air of calm wisdom that seemed to follow him wherever he went.

"So you're the whiz-kid I've heard so much about…"

Craig looked up as Anthony perched on the edge of his desk and stared down at the younger man.

"Am I?" Craig replied feeling slightly unnerved, as the man's cold grey eyes seemed to stare right into him.

"Apparently," Anthony continued, "They think you've got quite a future ahead of you here…"

"Really… wow… I… I don't know what to say… Tony thanks I…"

"It's ANTHONY." The older man pronounced his name slowly as if Craig were an idiot and Craig realised instantly that he had made a mistake in using a shortened version of the man's name.

"God sorry… I never meant anything… I just…" Craig felt his face flush and cursed himself under his breath as he stammered out his apology.

"Forget it… I just don't like Tony OK?" Anthony's tone was cold and Craig feared that he'd ruined his chance of befriending his new office mate.

"Sorry," Craig said again quietly lowering his gaze to the desktop.

"So anyway… I hear you're a poof!"

Anthony's sudden comment caused Craig's head to snap up, his eyes wide in surprise as the older man still stared at him blankly.

"I'm sorry what?" Craig asked, uncertain that he hadn't misheard.

"Well that's right isn't it?" Anthony asked with a sly smile. "Something about having to get your boyfriends permission to take the job… at least that's how I heard it…"

"No… I… I…" Craig suddenly felt very vulnerable and exposed. It's not that he wanted to keep his relationship with John Paul a secret, he'd had enough of that in the past and was determined to never risk what he had in such a way again. But at the same time he hadn't expected to have to defend his sexuality on the first day of work.

"Well it's any easy enough question isn't it Craig?" Anthony asked with a smirk. "Either you're a poof or you're not… which is it?"

Craig took a deep breath and pulled himself to his feet so that he could face the older man directly. His rich brown eyes looked into the cold grey of Anthony's and he felt a sudden tranquillity as he thought of the gentle blue eyes that would be waiting for him when he got home.

"Not that it's any of your business," Craig said calmly as he continued to match Anthony's cold stare, "But yeah… I've got a boyfriend… and no, I didn't ask his PERMISSION to take this job… but I DID ask him to come to Dublin with me… and if he'd said no then I wouldn't be here… and you know why? Cause I love him… and he means more to me than any job ever could… so if you've got a problem with that…" Craig's hands were trembling by the time he finished speaking and he had to consciously force himself to relax them as they had balled into tight fists.

"I didn't say I had a problem," Anthony said as he slowly moved away from Craig's desk. "I'm getting a coffee."

Craig sank back into his chair as Anthony left the office and rubbed his shaky hands over his face.

"Well done."

Turning to the side Craig noticed Steve smiling at him.

"How d'you mean?" Craig asked with a frown.

"Look I would have said something but… don't take too much notice of Tony… he's all hot air really… but he does like to see if he can get the better of you so you did well standing up to him there… it'll make him think twice before he tries anything again… really… you did good." Steve's calming tone soon soothed Craig's racing pulse and he smiled back at the man.

"I don't think he'd like you calling him Tony," Craig replied with a small laugh.

"Tony doesn't like a lot of things," Steve replied, "But he is good at his job… and now he knows you're not an easy target you'll be fine."

"You sure… I mean he's not… you know…"

"What?"

"Homophobic or anything?"

Steve laughed softly. "To be honest Tony's pretty much people-phobic. He would have found something about you not to like… at least you got it over with quickly… trust me Craig… You're gonna be fine."

"Thanks Steve… I appreciate it."

"So anyway… how about you take this," Steve picked up a manila folder from his desk and held it out to Craig, "And let's see if we can get some work done."

Pushing his chair towards Steve Craig took the folder and, wheeling back to his desk, he settled in to his first day at work.

---

"So how was it?"

Craig hadn't even managed to get his key in the door before it was flung open and John Paul greeted him with a wide smile and the bright blue eyes that Craig had thought about all day.

"It was good," Craig said as he stepped inside and took his coat off.

"Just good…"

"No it was…" Craig paused for a moment to think. "Thank you so much," he said suddenly as he grabbed John Paul's shoulders and pulled him into a forceful kiss.

"What was that for?" John Paul asked laughing and breathless, "Not that I'm complaining you understand…"

"For coming with me… for supporting me taking this chance… God John Paul this job… it's incredible… and I really think I'm gonna be good at it!"

John Paul smiled at the enthusiasm in his boyfriend's eyes and, if he had ever had any doubt about his decision, he now knew without question that moving to Dublin had been the right choice.

"Of course you are," John Paul said encouragingly, "And they're lucky to have you… just like I am! So what about the people you work with… are they nice?"

Craig collapsed onto the sofa with a sigh, pulling John Paul down next to him. He had never realised how exhausting a full time office job could be. But as well as tired he felt totally fulfilled.

"Yeah… yeah they're alright… there's Steve… I'd worked with him before and he's a decent bloke… and then Tony… Sorry Anthony… he's… well he's a bit of an idiot… but I can deal with his type!"

John Paul curled his fingers around Craig's as he rested his head on the man's shoulder. Having spent the previous two days in Craig's constant company John Paul had felt his absence sharply for the eight hours he'd been at work. "You can deal with anything," John Paul said confidently before sitting up and looking at Craig with a concerned frown. "They didn't give you a hard time did they… because of me?"

Craig smiled as he saw the fight sparkle in John Paul's eyes and he knew that the younger man was prepared to leap to his defence if he deemed it necessary.

"Nah," Craig assured him, "And even if they had… why should I care what anyone else thinks… when I've got you to come home to."

John Paul's expression softened at Craig's words and he brushed his hand lightly over Craig's cheek.

"Have I mentioned how much I love you today?"

"Hmm I don't remember," Craig grinned, "You'd better tell me again… just in case…"

"Craig Dean," John Paul said cupping the man's face in his hands and looking deeply into the bottomless depths of his rich chocolate eyes, "I love you… completely… utterly… totally…"

"Good," Craig replied relishing the feel of John Paul's hands against his skin, "Because I love you… completely… utterly… totally…"

Their lips met in a gentle kiss that grew in passion with the need to make up for their eight hours apart.


	3. Chapter 3

Craig stood with his back pressed against the wall and a chilled bottle of lager in his hand. The heavy beat of the music seemed to pound through him as he stood in silent contemplation.

Craig's attention was not on the throng of clubbers who filled the dance floor before him, or the crowds of people that bustled past him. Craig Dean's entire focus was on the man behind the DJ decks.

Craig felt mesmerised watching the slight ripple of muscles in the DJ's arms as he reached for a new record, expertly flipping it over to the side he wanted and placing it gently on the turntable. With one hand holding the headphones over his ear the DJ carefully lined up his next track before sliding the dials that would blend the music smoothly together.

As the second song took over from the beat of the first the DJ lifted his eyes to gauge the reaction of the crowd and, seeing their approval, he allowed himself a small, satisfied smile. His eyes then continued further into the room until they rested on the dark haired man leaning against the far wall. The man's deep brown eyes seemed to sparkle under the flashing lights of the club as they met with the soft blue eyes of the new DJ.

Craig hadn't wanted to get in John Paul's way the first night in his new job and had even offered to stay away completely so that he would not prove to be a distraction, but John Paul wouldn't hear of it. Not having Craig there would have been far more of a distraction than being able to see that beautiful face ever would.

It had been pure luck that landed John Paul his first work in Dublin. He had wandered into the club late one afternoon, as the staff were bottling up, in search of any kind of job and asked if there was any bar work on offer. The manager had shook his head at the request and lamented that all he really needed was a decent DJ as his current one had just been offered a better gig in Ibiza. John Paul could have kissed the man then and there but managed to restrain himself and instead offered his DJ services immediately.

Adrian, the bar manager and, as it turned out co-owner of the club, had been dubious that a talented DJ should walk in off the streets at the exact moment he was required. And, despite John Paul's assurances that he could do the job, it wasn't until Adrian checked out his credentials with Warren Fox that he finally relented and agreed to give John Paul a trial run.

"How d'you think it's going?" John Paul asked as Craig approached.

Craig gestured around the lively club with a grin. "I don't think you need me to answer that one…"

John Paul cast his gaze around the room and felt a warm glow of pride. There was a satisfaction that he got Djing that he had never found in anything else. Just knowing that he could make, or ruin, someone else's night by his choice of music gave him a strange sense of power and, at the end of an evening John Paul was always content that he had done all he could, given all he could, to make the clubbers night out one that they would remember.

John Paul's eyes returned to Craig where he felt the rush of a whole different emotion. Having Craig by his side served to heighten John Paul's feeling of pride, just like having Craig by his side always made everything he did seem that much better. He knew that it was unlikely Craig would be there every night he played, that was if Adrian took him on permanently, but having the man there supporting him on a night that was this important made John Paul want to do even better. He wanted Craig to be as proud of him as he was of the dark haired beauty that shared his life.

Craig touched a soft fleeting kiss to John Paul's lips before the DJ had to pull away from him to prepare the next track. Watching the blonde haired man busy himself Craig had to smile. He couldn't remember why showing his love for John Paul in public had once been so difficult, the only difficulty Craig seemed to have lately was holding back. Every time he looked into those bright azure eyes Craig was filled with the need to grab hold of John Paul and make love to him and to shout from the rooftops about the wonders of the man in his arms.

"So what d'you think of our new DJ?" A voice behind Craig asked. Craig recognised the man behind him as Adrian, John Paul had pointed him out when they had arrived earlier that evening. Craig smiled as he got his first close look at the man he hoped would be John Paul's new boss. Adrian looked about 30, certainly not much older, with cropped hair that was probably black, or maybe a very dark brown, it was hard to tell in the multi-coloured illumination of the clubs lights, he had a large frame although it seemed more muscular than fat and his eyes held a warm friendly humour as they waited for Craig's response.

"I think he's brilliant," Craig enthused, "You'd be an idiot not to take him on!"

Adrian laughed and nodded his head in agreement. "I take it you're a mate of John Paul's then?"

"Me?" Craig asked with wide-eyed innocence. "Nah… never met him before in my life… I just recognise talent when I see it!"

Craig's smile widened when he felt John Paul's arm slip around his waist. "I might know him a little bit," Craig conceded with a grin.

"Everything OK?" John Paul asked.

"Me laddo here's just been telling me what an idiot I would be not to keep you on," Adrian told him.

"Craig!"

"What?" Craig asked as his pretence at innocence dissolved in a fit of giggles.

"Still he has got a point," Adrian continued, "So what d'you reckon John Paul? Think you could handle this place on a permanent basis?"

"Are you kidding?" John Paul asked with a deep smile as his hold around Craig's waist tightened.

"Nope… I like what I've seen… so if you want it then you're in."

"Yeah… yeah I want it…" John Paul stammered with excitement. "Too right I want it…"

"Great," Adrian said shaking his new DJ's hand. "We'll sort out the shifts and stuff tomorrow… good to have you aboard."

Craig spun around to face John Paul, his arms wrapping around the younger man's neck as they shared a celebratory kiss.

"Oh and lads," Adrian called over his shoulder, "If you could tone things down a bit… I wouldn't want any of the idiots in here causing you any trouble when they've had a few!"

John Paul smiled as Craig reluctantly pulled back from his embrace. They both understood that, no matter how evolved society might believe it had become, there was always going to be somebody who disapproved of their love. And in a place like a nightclub the chances of one of those people deciding to violently express their disapproval increased considerably.

Craig's fingers linked lightly with John Paul's behind the cover of the record decks. "I suppose we'll just have to celebrate when we get home then," he said with a wicked twinkle in his eyes.

"Can't wait," John Paul replied, squeezing Craig's fingers tightly for a moment until he had to let go and turn his attention back to his new job.

---

As soon as the front door closed Craig slipped John Paul's record bag from his shoulder and pushed the man hard into the wall, his mouth crashing against John Paul's forcefully.

The night had seemed to drag on endlessly as he watched his sexy DJ control the room full of clubbers. With every passing minute Craig's longing seemed to intensify until it took every ounce of strength to keep his hands to himself.

"God I've been wanting to do that all night," Craig groaned as he pushed his body firmly against John Paul's, feeling every curve of the man's frame pressing into his flesh. "You have no idea how much I wanted to bend you over those bloody record decks and fuck you in the club right in front of everybody."

John Paul swallowed heavily at the image as Craig pinned his hands above his head and ground his hard groin against John Paul's crotch.

"As good as that sounds," John Paul panted, "I think it could just have lost me my job…"

"It might have been worth it," Craig said with a lusty smile, "Do you know how sexy you are when you're DJ-ing? Watching you up there in front of all those people… in charge of them all… seeing them all under your spell… just like I am!"

John Paul's lips curved into a deep smile. "So you like seeing me in charge do you?" he asked, pushing himself forward and quickly spinning around until he had Craig pinned against the wall, the man's hands held firmly above his head.

John Paul's kiss was hard and hungry as he devoured Craig's hot mouth, his tongue plundering its moist depths until they were both moaning with desire.

A trail of clothes quickly led to the bedroom where the naked men stood in a tight embrace, their erections rubbing together as their tongues swirled inside the heat of their mouths.

John Paul stepped back to take in the beauty of Craig's naked body. His olive skin shimmering in the soft bedroom light as his firm chest rose and fell with deep heavy breaths. John Paul's eyes ran the length of Craig's form, consuming the sight of his hard thick cock standing upright in need of attention, drops of precum already glistening at its tip. John Paul's own cock ached at the sight before him and he couldn't remember ever seeing anything so erotic or so arousing in his life before.

"Craig," John Paul said in a low seductive voice as he ran one finger over Craig's smooth chest.

"Hmm?"

"D'you remember when you came back to Hollyoaks that last time… that first night in the flat after Lin went out?"

Craig's eyes shone at the memory. "What? You gonna give me another show?"

"No…" John Paul told him, letting his touch leave Craig's skin and taking another step backwards. "I've just realised you never returned the favour… and this IS supposed to be MY celebration after all!"

"Oh I see," Craig said licking his lips slowly. Pressing his palms flat against John Paul's chest Craig could feel the younger man's heart racing as much as his own was. "Tell me what you want…"

"I wanna watch you," John Paul breathed heavily, "I wanna watch you touch yourself… make yourself come… I wanna hear you moan… I want…" John Paul's breathing shook as he spoke, simply describing what he wanted to see was turning him on more than he could stand, he wasn't certain that he could hold back and just watch.

With a shove Craig pushed John Paul onto the bed. "Your wish is my command," Craig said running his hand over his chest as John Paul pulled himself into a sitting position, adjusting the pillow behind his back as he leant against the metal headboard.

Craig let his hands wander over his body, across his chest, down his taught belly and over his firm thighs. The soft blue of John Paul's eyes was following every movement closely.

"Mmm that feels good," Craig murmured as his fingers ran lightly over his erect cock, slowly peeling back the foreskin to reveal its smooth shiny head.

John Paul's fingers curled into the duvet beneath him as he watched Craig's hand slowly caress his long thick cock, small moans of pleasure slipping from Craig's mouth as he touched himself intimately.

Craig's free hand ran over his chest, he sucked one finger lightly and then coated his hard nipples with the moisture, making them shine under the glow of the bedroom lighting.

"God Craig…" John Paul decided that, as pleasurable as watching the erotic show was, he was now ready to join in. Leaning forward he reached out, his fingers brushing over the end of Craig's cock making both men shudder with excitement.

Taking a step back Craig shook his head. "If you're not gonna behave I might have to restrain you," he threatened with a smile.

"Oh? And how d'you propose to do that?" John Paul asked, leaning further forward to try and claim possession of the gorgeous body before him.

Craig giggled softly as he walked over to a cupboard and pulled open a small drawer. As Craig returned to the bed John Paul could see the man had two ties in his hands.

"Aren't we a bit underdressed for a tie?" He asked with a smile.

"No I think these will suit you perfectly," Craig replied. He very quickly looped on tie around John Paul's wrist and fastened it firmly to the metal scrolls of the headboard, repeating the action with John Paul's other writs until the man was completely immobilised.

John Paul pulled against his restraints but they refused to move an inch and Craig smiled in satisfaction as he stood close to the edge of the bed and once again took his cock in his hand.

Craig slowly began to run his hand up and down the length of his cock, never taking his eyes from John Paul. Just having the man there, watching him, wanting him and unable to move made Craig's body shudder with desire. The feel of John Paul's eyes burning into his already aroused flesh made his cock even harder and his balls ache with the need for release.

"I love it when you touch me like this," Craig said gripping his cock harder and moving his hand faster over it. "I love it when you suck me deep into your mouth… I love it when you make me come… I love it when you fuck me hard… the feel of your dick deep inside me…"

John Paul pulled against the binding that kept him from Craig, moaning with lust as the speed of Craig's hand increased, whimpering at the need to touch that man and be touched by him.

"But you know what I love most of all?" Craig asked as he climbed onto the bed, kneeling directly before John Paul, his knees straddling John Paul's thighs and his cock only inches from John Paul's body. "I love how much you want me right now… you do don't you John Paul… I can see how hard your dick is… I can see how much you want to fuck me now… you wanna fuck me hard and fast and come inside me don't you?"

Craig's voice was shaking as he spoke, his cock throbbing heavily in his hand as his climax approached. Part of him wanted nothing more than to let John Paul do what he was describing, but another part was enjoying seeing the desperate lust in his lover's eyes, knowing that John Paul wanted him more than anything or anyone else in existence.

"Tell me John Paul," Craig urged as he stroked his cock harder and faster, "Tell me what you'd like to do to me right now…"

"Oh god Craig you know what I want… you know how much I want to fuck you… I want to be deep inside you… you're so hot and tight and you grip my dick perfectly… I need to fuck you Craig… god please… untie me and let me fuck you…"

Craig chest heaved as John Paul begged to fuck him, it was more than he could withstand and he cried out as his body trembled with pleasure. His cock pulsed hot and heavy in his hand as he came, the thick white evidence of his lust spattering over John Paul's pale chest, marking the man as his own.

Craig leant forward and pressed his mouth softly against John Paul's lips while the shaking of his body slowly subsided.

"Nobody had ever turned me on as much as you do," Craig breathed into John Paul's ear. "Just looking at you makes me want to come…"

"Craig please… untie me now…" John Paul's eyes pleaded for release.

Dipping his fingertip into the come on John Paul's chest Craig smeared it over the man's lips, making them shine seductively.

"Not yet," Craig teased, "I don't think we've quite finished."

Pressing his mouth back against John Paul's lips Craig licked the taste of himself from them, sucking in the sound of John Paul's moans and he gripped firmly onto John Paul's hard cock.

"I want you inside me right now," Craig said as he pushed his palm into the thick white substance on John Paul's chest and coated the man's desperate cock with it.

Moving forward slightly Craig positioned himself over the tip of John Paul's cock and slowly started to descend.

John Paul gasped as the head of his cock pressed against Craig body, the tight puckered ring of his anus resisting John Paul's presence until Craig forced himself down harder.

Craig pulled a deep gasp of air into his lungs as John Paul's cock entered him, stretching his body as it filled him perfectly, sinking ever deeper into his hot flesh until Craig was sat on John Paul's lap and the man's cock was entirely consumed by his body.

"Oh god Craig," John Paul's voice shook as the man started a slow steady rise and fall against his length, "God you feel so good…"

Craig looked deeply into the eyes of the man he loved and felt such satisfaction knowing that he could give the man so much pleasure.

"Fuck me hard John Paul," he said as his hands gripped the younger man's shoulders and he started to ride his cock faster, "I want to feel you come inside me…"

John Paul raised himself to meet Craig's descents, their bodies crashing together with the power of their thrusts as the room filled with the sounds of skin against skin and the growing volume of John Paul's moans as his climax approached resolution.

"God Craig I'm gonna…"

"That's it John Paul… fuck me… come inside me… show me how much you want me…"

John Paul cried out Craig's name as his cock pulsed deep inside the man's flesh, his orgasm pouring from his body in wave after wave of total physical joy until he was completely spent and entirely satisfied.

Craig remained sat on John Paul's lap, the man's cock still inside him, as he kissed his lover gently.

"Christ that was amazing," John Paul said with glassy-eyed awe.

"You're amazing," Craig replied as he unfastened the bindings that kept John Paul's arms from him. As soon as he was freed John Paul held Craig tight against his chest, kissing every inch of the man's beautiful face as he repeated his love over and over again.

The two bodies curled together warmly underneath the duvet. Their physical needs were more than satisfied and they held each other close, filling their hearts with the love that radiated between them.

"I love you so much John Paul," Craig mumbled sleepily as he nuzzled into the sweet warmth of John Paul's neck.

"I love you too," John Paul replied, curling his fingers into Craig's and smiling with contentment.

The early morning sun was pushing its way through a small gap in the bedroom curtains and it illuminated the sleeping faces of the two men, touching at their smiles and lighting up the happiness that shone from them, even in their slumber.

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	4. Chapter 4

"John Paul… John Paul I've got to go…"

John Paul raised his heavy eyelids as he stretched under the comforting warmth of the duvet. He smiled as the dark haired vision of perfection leaning over him came slowly into focus. John Paul was so glad that Craig's job required him to wear a suit because he always looked so damn sexy in it. The dark jacket and crisp white shirt were just crying out to be messed up and the tie looped around Craig's neck brought back very pleasant memories indeed.

Reaching out a hand John Paul gripped hold of Craig's tie and pulled the man towards him. Craig gladly kissed the heat of John Paul's sleepy mouth gently and breathed in the soft warmth of the man's skin. There was a languid feel to their kiss as John Paul was still half ensconced in slumber and Craig smiled as he pulled back, taking in the tousled hair and heavy eyes of the beautiful figure before him.

"Phone in sick and come back to bed with me," John Paul suggested, pulling on Craig's tie again.

"I wish I could," Craig sighed with genuine longing, "But you know I've got that big presentation today…"

John Paul reluctantly let go of his lover's tie. Despite how pleased he was that they had both landed jobs they loved their different working hours could sometimes mean they wouldn't see each other long stretches of the day. They both knew that Craig's presentation that afternoon would probably result in after works drinks and, by the time he got home John Paul would have already left to set up at the Club. But at least the following day, being a Saturday, would mean a long lazy lie in for both of them.

"You gonna make it to the club tonight?" John Paul asked as Craig wandered over to the mirror to adjust his tie.

"Not sure," Craig replied, "Depends how this presentation goes… I could be pretty knackered by the time I get home… have to see how it goes."

Craig walked back to the bed and leant in for another kiss before turning to leave.

"Go on… be gone with you," John Paul joked shooing the older man away, "Quick before I change my mind and drag you back into this bed!"

Craig cast another longing look at the bed and, more importantly, at its occupant and had to force himself out of the room before the lure of John Paul proved to be too much.

"Love you," Craig called as he closed the bedroom door, "See ya later."

"Love you too," John Paul yelled after him, closing his eyes and snuggling back into the warmth of the bed trying not to notice how much warmer it always felt with two.

John Paul smiled as he turned over and pressed his face into Craig's pillow, pulling the scent of the man deep into his lungs and the taste of him onto his lips. He hadn't really dared to believe that life in Dublin, life with Craig, would have been so perfect but with each passing day he seemed to fall deeper in love and he knew that wherever Craig was, that was where he belonged.

John Paul chuckled to himself as he thought of the surprise meal he had booked for Craig the following week to celebrate their first six months in Dublin and their first six months living together. With a soft yawn he let himself drift back into the comfortable arms of sleep, it would be a couple of hours before he needed to venture out of bed himself, but Craig always came to say goodbye before leaving for the office. And John Paul wouldn't have it any other way.

---

John Paul looked at his watch and sighed despondently. It was already nine-thirty and the chances of Craig actually turning up diminished by the minute. John Paul knew that it would be unreasonable to expect his boyfriend to be there every night that he worked, but when the dark haired man was able to make it the night was always that much better. The tunes flowed easier and the crowd danced longer when Craig was in the room. Or maybe Craig's presence just changed John Paul's perspective, made John Paul try that bit harder because, the better the night was the more Craig would get that look in his eyes. The look that shone with pride and love and above all an unbridled desire to show the DJ just how much he wanted him.

Fishing his phone from his pocket John Paul made sure that he hadn't missed any messages. He'd received a text a few hours earlier from Craig proclaiming his presentation to be a huge success and commenting on how, as expected, they were all heading to the pub to celebrate. John Paul smiled at the photograph of Craig that was illuminated on his phones' screen. Knowing Craig he had probably "celebrated" so much that he was already lying down somewhere trying to sleep it off!

"John Paul you could do me a big favour?"

John Paul turned his head to see Adrian leaning over the record decks with a hopeful smile.

"What kind of favour?" John Paul asked cautiously. Since starting to work at the club John Paul had found a growing admiration and respect for his new boss. While Adrian would never be slow in reprimanding an employee who did wrong, he also appreciated the benefit of commending and rewarding, the good work his staff did and, as a result, John Paul had found many an unexpected bonus in his pay at the end of a week.

"You couldn't play a song for me could you?" Adrian asked, looking somewhat embarrassed as he shuffled uncomfortably on his feet.

"Well it IS what I'm here for," John Paul replied with a laugh, "And I can hardly refuse the boss can I?"

"You might," Adrian said moving a little closer to avoid being overheard, "When I tell you what it is…"

"OK…" John Paul replied feeling curious.

"I mean I wouldn't normally ask… and you know what you play… well it always goes down great and I wouldn't like you to think otherwise… I mean I don't want you to change your style when the punters all love it but…"

"But?"

"If you could just… just this once… it's not for me… not really… but the thing is…"

John Paul couldn't help but laugh; he had never seen his boss looking so flustered before. "Come on Adrian," John Paul encouraged, "It can't be that bad."

Looking around him Adrian stepped behind the record desks and leant to whisper in John Paul's ear.

"What?" John Paul asked, unable to hear Adrian's breathy whisper clearly.

Adrian took a deep breath and winced as he spoke. "I said… could you play Especially For You… please…"

John Paul frowned as he mentally catalogued the tracks in his possession. "And that would be by?"

Adrian tugged uncomfortably at his collar before leaning close to answer.

"You're joking!" John Paul laughed as Adrian revealed his chosen artist.

"Look John Paul please… I know it's a big ask… and I wouldn't normally…"

"I'm sorry mate," John Paul continued, still unable to stifle his giggles, "But I don't have a lot of Jason and Kylie in my collection!"

Slipping his hand to his inside jacket pocket Adrian produced a CD that he slipped to John Paul as guiltily as any novice drug dealer would.

"Adrian… you'll get me lynched… I do have a reputation to consider."

Adrian placed his hand on John Paul's shoulder and looked into the blonde man's deep blue eyes pleadingly. "I wouldn't normally ask," Adrian repeated, "But Suzie loves it and… well she kind of thinks of it as our song." Once again Adrian winced with embarrassment. "Besides…"

"Besides?"

Adrian suddenly smiled widely. "I'm gonna propose to her!"

"Mate… why didn't you just say so!" John Paul enthused as he hugged the man warmly. "You DO know this is gonna clear the dance floor?"

"It'll make it easier when I get down on one knee!"

"When d'you want to do it?"

"Couple of tracks time?"

"As long as you remember… when the place turns nasty… this was all your fault!"

"Deal."

John Paul smiled as he turned the Kylie CD over in his hands. He never thought he would see the day when he would be willingly, happily, playing such a cheesy song but somehow the reason behind it seemed to make decision easy.

---

The flat was in darkness when John Paul returned home, his senses reeling slightly from the champagne that Adrian had insisted on opening and sharing with everyone after Suzie had accepted his proposal.

As predicted the dance floor had rapidly cleared as the first few bars of the Jason and Kylie song began. Adrian had lead his then girlfriend, a small girl with long dark hair held loosely back in a pony tale and a pretty face that was only ever covered in a light dusting of make-up, to the centre of the floor before getting down on one knee. Suzie's eyes had filled with tears and the club had erupted in cheers when she said "yes" and Adrian slipped a sparkling diamond onto her finger. John Paul had managed, thankfully, to fade the song out early and replace it with a more usual track, an act that seemed to go unnoticed by the newly engaged couple who continued their slow dance despite the sudden change in music.

Dropping his record bag to the floor John Paul noticed Craig's tie draped over the back of the sofa. Picking up the silky garment John Paul held it to his face, breathing in the blend of Craig's aftershave and the scent of his skin and smiling as he thought of the man lying asleep upstairs.

John Paul opened the bedroom door quietly, tiptoeing inside so as not to wake its' sleeping occupant. Relying on a small swathe of light that crept in through a gap in the curtains John Paul quickly peeled off his clothes and slipped into the warm bed. He hadn't realised how cold he had become on his walk home until the heat of the bed began to penetrate his flesh, making him shiver as he lay on his back. John Paul fought his natural urge to move closer to Craig and wrap his arms around him, as he didn't want his chilled skin to suddenly wake his sleeping companion.

As he started to drift off to sleep John Paul replayed Adrian's proposal in his head but as he thought of it the characters changed and John Paul wondered what Craig's expression would have been if John Paul got down on one knee and suggested they formalised the love they shared. Before the last of his consciousness left him John Paul let himself daydream and he thought that maybe the six-month anniversary dinner next month could also turn out to be a much bigger celebration.

---

Yawning and stretching slightly as he woke John Paul was surprise to find the bed beside him empty. For months now Saturday mornings had meant long lie-ins and time to be together and enjoy each other's company, so Craig's absence from the bed was totally unexpected.

After waiting a few minutes to see if Craig returned from either the bathroom, or possibly treating them both to a hearty breakfast, John Paul pulled himself from the warm embracing comfort of the bed and, slipping only his boxers on, he padded quietly from the room. Rubbing his hand over his still half-asleep face John Paul wondered if Craig's celebration drinks of the previous day had meant the man was behind on some work and part of him expected to find the man at the living room table on his laptop, but then a noise from another room told him otherwise.

"Do I get one of those?" John Paul asked as he entered the kitchen to see Craig making a hot drink.

"Get your own," Craig snarled as he threw the teaspoon violently into the sink where it landed with a shattering clatter against some glasses.

"Craig what's wrong?" John Paul asked stepping forward with his hands outstretched to comfort whatever was upsetting his lover.

"You could have told me," Craig snapped, his deep brown eyes heavy with hurt.

"Told you what? Craig what is it?"

"I at least deserved to know," Craig shouted as tears fell from his eyes and he threw his mug to the floor, making John Paul leap out of the way of hot tea and broken china.

"Craig tell me what's going on," John Paul pleaded following the distraught man into the living room, "Please I don't understand."

"How long's it been going on?" Craig asked, turning on John Paul, the hurt in his eyes replace by anger.

"What? Craig what? I don't know what you're talking about…"

"How long have you been shagging around behind my back…"

John Paul's mouth fell open at the accusation and he stared at the angry man in silence as he tried to process the words he had just heard.

"You're not even gonna bother denying it are you?" Craig said in a voice that was somewhere between a growl and a sob. "I thought I mean more to you than that… after everything we've been through… was she right all along John Paul eh? Was my mum right all along?"

"Craig… Craig No… I haven't… I'm not… what makes you think…."

"Don't lie to me," Craig shouted.

"I'm not Craig honestly… I've never…"

"Honestly?" Craig spat with a bitter laugh, "What does a McQueen know about honesty? What the hell made me think you were any different."

"Craig please…" John Paul grabbed for Craig's arm in an attempt to placate the man but his touch seemed to infuriate Craig further and without warning Craig's hand was raised.

John Paul flinched in anticipation of the blow and for a second Craig didn't see the same John Paul any more. Instead he saw a 17-year-old boy being beaten to the ground by his best friend in a school gymnasium and, just like he had all those years ago, Craig felt an overwhelming sense of shame.

"I thought we were happy," Craig said pitifully as he turned and ran from the room.

"We were… we are… Craig wait…" John Paul raced to the front door and it wasn't until he felt the cold stone of the doorstep under his bare feet that he remembered he was dressing in nothing but his boxers.

"Shit…" John Paul snarled, "Shit… shit…"

By the time he had pulled on a pair of jeans, slipped his bare feet into his trainers and ran back to the door all signs of Craig were gone and John Paul slumped in the doorway in the vain hope that he would quickly see his error and turn back. After ten minutes John Paul closed the door.

Dialling Craig's number John Paul held his mobile shakily to his head only to swear in annoyance when Craig's phone began to dance merrily on the coffee table. Craig was gone and there was no way to contact him.

John Paul fell onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands as total dismay and confusion washed over him. How had that just happened? What had just happened?

Only 24 hours ago John Paul had thought his life was perfect. What a difference a day makes.

---

John Paul didn't know how long he'd been sat on the sofa holding his head and wondering how things had gone so badly wrong but it was long enough for his bare chest to be covered with goose flesh as the cold seeped into his bones.

His head shot up suddenly as the doorbell rang. Craig had left in such a hurry there was no way he could have taken his keys. John Paul's hands shook as he opened the front door, his hopeful smile fading on his lips as the visitor was revealed.

"So after waiting for half an hour at the airport I decided to get a taxi…"

"Sorry Lin," John Paul said softly as he took the young woman's case from her, "I forgot you were coming today."

"Obviously," Linda laughed as she made her way into the living room. "I mean, charming isn't it… the first time I've seen you both in months and you forget I'm coming… so where's Craig? John Paul? John Paul where's Craig… what's wrong… is everything OK?"

Linda's good humour turned to worry and concern as she saw the pained look in her dear friends eyes, her hands automatically reaching for his as she pulled him onto the sofa with her.

"John Paul tell me… what's the matter…"

"He's gone…"

"Who? Craig? Gone where…?"

"I don't know… he just… he left… he thinks… he said… Lin he thinks I'm cheating on him…"

The shocked numbness that had shrouded John Paul melted away as he said the words out loud and without warning a cascade of tears tumbled over his cheeks.

"John Paul… you haven't…?"

"Lin!" John Paul gasped in shock at the question. "You know what Craig means to me… what I went through… what we both went through to get here… I wouldn't… I couldn't… I love him Lin… he's all I need… why would I even look at anyone else."

"Sorry," Linda said squeezing the weeping man's hands, "I just had to be sure."

"You do believe me don't you?"

"Of course I do." Linda wrapped her arms around John Paul's trembling torso, holding him close as the man cried on her shoulder, grateful for the comfort and wishing that he didn't need it.

Once the worst of John Paul's tears had dried Linda eased the man from her shoulder and looked into the sadness of his soft blue eyes.

"What happened John Paul? What's made Craig think this?"

"I don't know…really… yesterday morning we were great… he went to work as normal and then I didn't see him again till this morning… Oh Lin you don't think someone he works with has been saying things do you?"

"What are they like? D'you know them?"

"No… I've never met them… but there is this one guy in his office that's always trying to wind Craig up… what if he's said something," John Paul shook his head sadly, "But why would Craig believe him even if he did… does the last six months really mean that little to him Lin that he would assume the worst of me so easily?"

"I don't know love I really don't," Linda replied sympathetically, "Just give him a chance to calm down eh? I'm sure it'll be OK… you two are made for each other."

"Are we?"

"You know you are."

"If that's the case then why is it always so hard? Why is there always something trying to keep us apart."

"Hey there's always a few obstacles in every good love story… Look at Romeo and Juliet!"

"Lin they both died at the end!"

"OK… bad example… but you know what I'm saying… don't give up on him John Paul… you never have before…"

----

John Paul had been reluctant when Linda suggested that he go into work that evening but she had insisted and eventually he had relented, in part only to stop her nagging.

Linda watched the blue-eyed DJ with a heavy heart. She had expected to be walking into a happy home, all the emails and phone calls had suggested that life in Dublin was perfect, but instead she had arrived to find herself in the middle of a nightmare. Even though she'd asked the question she had never really believed that John Paul was capable of the thing Craig had accused, and every atom of her soul was desperate for some way to bring the men back together, but without having his phone there was no way to contact Craig and help him see the truth.

After cleaning up the broken mug from the kitchen floor and the smashed glass from the sink Linda had fixed John Paul a small dinner, which he picked at unenthusiastically until he pushed it away hardly touched.

"So you're working tonight?"

"Suppose to be," John Paul had replied with a sigh.

"It wasn't a question…"

"Lin…"

"John Paul you've had one fight… you can't lose your job over it…"

"But what if he comes home…"

"Craig knows where you work John Paul…"

"But…"

"NO… listen to me… everything's gonna be fine… you'll go to work as normal and once he's thought everything through Craig will realise he's wrong… everything will be OK… trust me." Linda hoped that her voice sounded more confident that she felt.

John Paul expertly blended one track with another, letting the music mix together until the second song took dominance. His hands moved with an easy skill as he repeated the action he had performed a million times before but his heart remained detached from what he was doing. He may have still been mixing the music perfectly, with such a dexterity that no one would have noticed the difference, but anyone who knew John Paul would only have to look into his eyes to see that the music wasn't pulsing through his veins like it usually did. John Paul's heart wasn't in it. John Paul's heart was somewhere else and he didn't know where it was or how to find it and get it to come home.

"John Paul, mate, I know I said you're free to play whatever you want… but come on… seriously…. Is this some kind of pay back for the Jason and Kylie?"

John Paul frowned and shrugged as he turned to look at Adrian, not at all sure what the older man meant.

"Look at the place," Adrian continued, "Looks more like a bloody morgue than a night club… d'you think maybe we could have one or two lively tracks now?"

For the first time that evening John Paul let his eyes wander over the dance floor, the very empty dance floor. His attention had been so fixed on the doors, willing Craig to walk through them, that he hadn't realised the effect his mood had been having on the club.

John Paul had subconsciously chosen track after track of subdued, maudlin music and the result had been a half empty club and a somewhat concerned boss.

"Sorry Ade," John Paul said quietly, "I'll put something else on… I didn't realise… I…." As he spoke John Paul reached for his headphones but instead knocked them to the floor. He froze, looking down at the ground as if bending over to retrieve the fallen headphones was the most difficult trial he had ever faced.

"John Paul is everything alright?" Adrian had seen his DJ working for long enough to be able to tell when the young man was distracted and, as John Paul lifted his face, Adrian saw his pale blue eyes glistening with unshed tears. "John Paul what is it?" Adrian placed his hands gently on John Paul's shoulders.

"I don't… It's Craig… I think… we've…" John Paul's voice broke and he couldn't get the words out but their unspoken meaning was more that apparent.

"God mate I'm sorry," Adrian sympathised, "You should have said, if there's anything I can do…"

Adrian pulled John Paul into a hug as the young man shook in his arms.

Linda smiled at the exchange, grateful that John Paul had someone else who was also on his side, but that smile quickly turned to a look of concern.

John Paul jumped as an empty lager bottle landed on the record decks, sending the needle screeching across the vinyl and plunging the club into a sudden unexpected silence.

"I fucking new it!"

John Paul's eyes were wide, his tears still damp against his cheeks. "Craig!"

"I thought maybe I'd been mistaken… just maybe I was wrong," Craig voice was loud and filled with rage as it echoed around the hushed club.

"Craig what are you going on about?" John Paul asked.

"It's not what you think Craig," Linda said touching the man's arm, a friendly gesture that was shrugged off as Craig glared at his boyfriend.

The dark haired man's heart was pounding loudly in his chest and he was completely unaware of anything or anyone but the man he loved… and the man standing beside him.

"So how long have you been shagging him behind my back?" Craig spat, pointing an angry finger towards Adrian.

"What… No… you don't think…" John Paul's eyes flicked between his boyfriend and his boss as confusion rolled through his brain.

"I saw you… I fucking saw you… Don't try to deny it now… give me some credit John Paul!"

"I was upset," John Paul explained, "Because of you…"

"Really?"

"Yes really… Craig please listen…"

"So what about last night then?" Craig's fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. He didn't know who he wanted to punch the most, the man who betrayed him or the man he betrayed him with. But in his heart Craig knew he couldn't bare to inflict a mark on John Paul's gentle, beautiful, cheating face.

"Last night?" John Paul asked, "You weren't here last night…"

"Oh I was here alright," Craig told him, "I was here long enough to see HIM all over you… nibbling your ear… holding you… kissing you… god no wonder he wanted you and me to tone things down… the bastard wanted you all for himself…"

"Craig no… you've got it wrong… nothing's going on… I promise you… nothing… I love you…"

"Go to hell John Paul McQueen," Craig growled, "Just go to hell and get out of my life…"

Craig turned and fled the club, pushing past stunned customers as his eyes filled with tears. With every step his heart seemed to ache that bit more until he could hardly stand the pain and he broke down in heavy sobs.

"Adrian I'm sorry I…" John Paul looked at his boss aghast, "I don't know what to say."

"I've fired people for less than that," Adrian said, carefully picking the broken glass from the record decks and re-starting the music.

"I understand… I'm sorry…"

"Well are you not gonna get after him?"

John Paul stared at his boss in surprise. "What?"

"Look John Paul… for Craig to get that angry he's really gotta love you… get it sorted out yeah?"

"And am I…"

"I dunno," Adrian smiled kindly, "The engagement must have put me in a good mood… you've still got a job… now go and make sure you've still got a bloke eh?"

"Thank you… really…" John Paul smiled his gratitude and was about to leave when another thought struck him. "Lin… shit…"

"Just go," Linda told him.

"I can't leave you here on your own…"

"I'm fine… get after him before he gets too far…."

"But Lin." John Paul wavered between his need to find Craig and his need to make sure Linda was safe.

"Get the hell out of here," Adrian insisted. "I'll get Linda into a taxi."

"You sure?"

"Yes… now GO."

---

John Paul's chest was heaving as he raced into the street. Standing in the doorway he looked up and down not certain in which direct Craig had gone. He was about to give up when he spotted a huddled figure leaning against a wall across the road.

"Craig?" John Paul said quietly as he approached.

"Leave me alone," Craig sniffled with his head buried in his arms.

"Never gonna happen." John Paul told him.

"What d'you want John Paul?" Craig asked lifting his tear stained face. "You've got you're new bloke… you don't need me…" Craig anger had dissipated quickly once he left the club and he was left with an abiding feeling of misery and loneliness.

"Oh Craig," John Paul's tone was soft and low as he crouched before the huddled man. "There IS nobody but you."

"I saw you… don't try and tell me I didn't…"

"Craig," John Paul rested his hands on Craig's arms as he looked into the sadness of two deep chocolate eyes. "Shall I tell you what you saw? You saw my boss asking me to play a fucking Kylie song… wouldn't YOU be whispering a request like that in someone's ear?"

"But you… you were holding him… I saw that… you can't deny that…"

"No I don't," John Paul agreed, "I was hugging him… and you wanna know WHY I was hugging him?"

Craig shrugged. Since his first accusation that morning Craig hadn't been able to look into John Paul's eyes, afraid to see the truth, afraid to see that the love was no longer there. But now, as he finally let his gaze rest on those gentle blue globes he started to doubt what he thought he knew. Could anyone who looked at him like that ever feel anything but love?

"I was hugging Adrian," John Paul continued, "Because he'd just told me he was gonna ask Suzie to marry him… and if you're interested she said yes!"

"So you're not..?"

"No I'm not…"

"And you haven't…"

"I haven't… Craig I wouldn't… why can't you believe that I love you… ONLY you… there'll never be anyone else but you… you're my life Craig, please believe me."

John Paul got to his feet and, taking hold of Craig hands, he pulled the man up after him.

"I was so sure…"

"You were wrong."

"I nearly hit you."

"But you didn't."

"I wanted to…"

"But you didn't."

"John Paul I… I can't stand the thought that I might do that to you… I was so scared I'd lost you… I didn't know what to do…"

"Craig, Craig," John Paul shook his head fondly as he stroked the last of the tears from Craig's cheeks. "I know you would never hit me… just like I'd never hit you… and you won't ever lose me… we're in this for the long haul… till death us do part and all that."

"You promise?"

"I promise… on my life."

"I'm so sorry John Paul… I just… I love you so much it scares me."

"Talk to me Craig… in the future just talk to me… trust me… I love you."

John Paul's lips pressed against Craig's tenderly and with love. His heart felt ready to burst with sheer happiness as he pulled Craig close into his arms. Part of him thought that maybe he should be angry with Craig for making such wild assumptions but a much larger part just wanted to hold the man he loved and never let him go.

Craig gripped John Paul firmly. He had been so convinced that he had lost the only person he had ever truly loved and the knowledge that he was wrong felt like a wonderful blessing.

"Fucking poofs!"

John Paul spun around as a hand grabbed his shoulder and a hard fist suddenly crashed into his stomach.

His attacker ran off down the street laughing with another man hot on his heels. Craig was ready to charge off in pursuit until John Paul stopped him.

"Leave him," he gasped still doubled over in pain, "It's not worth it."

Craig looked at the back of the retreating men and decided to take John Paul's advice. He'd much rather spend time making up with his boyfriend instead of fighting a couple of bigoted idiots.

"Are you OK?" Craig asked when, instead of pulling himself upright, John Paul sank to his knees.

"Craig I…" A sudden clatter of metal made Craig's blood run cold as he saw the glint of a blade shimmer in the streetlight, a blade that glistened with a crimson coating.

"God John Paul…" Craig threw himself down besides his lover, pulling the man's hands away from his stomach to reveal them coated in blood.

"No no no," Craig moaned, "Somebody… somebody help please… someone call an ambulance…" Craig's voice seemed shrill and pained and he wasn't even sure if anyone heard him.

"It's gonna be OK," Craig said as John Paul slumped lower on the ground. "Everything's gonna be OK."

Pulling John Paul against him, and resting the man's head in his lap, Craig stroked softly at his hair.

John Paul looked up into Craig's eyes and saw such love there that it made him want to weep. He felt cold, so very cold, but there was no pain, he expected there to be some pain.

"I do love you Craig," John Paul said in a voice that was so much weaker than it had ever been before.

"I know you do," Craig said, "And you can tell me that when we're old and grey…"

John Paul's hands fell limply to his sides, he couldn't quite remember why he was holding them to his middle but he didn't have the strength to keep them there any longer.

"Don't you dare," Craig said with tears rolling over his cheeks, "Don't you dare leave me now."

Craig pressed his hand against the wound in John Paul's stomach, the hot sticky blood oozing through his fingers as he tried to staunch the flow.

"You're very beautiful," John Paul said in a quiet breath, "Did I ever tell you that?"

"Tell me tomorrow," Craig begged, "Please John Paul… tell me next week… and next year…"

"I'm sorry Craig…" John Paul desperately wanted to keep his eyes open but they felt so heavy and the image of Craig kept slipping out of focus.

"Don't say that… you have nothing to be sorry for… just stay with me John Paul… please just stay with me…"

"I love you Craig." The words breathed from John Paul's lips in a soft breath as the weight of his eyelids finally won out.

Craig pressed his face into John Paul's hair as his shoulders shook with heavy sobs.

"Don't leave me John Paul," he begged over and over again, "Please don't leave me."

---

Craig was numb. The world seemed to be racing around him but he couldn't focus on it. Someone had taken John Paul from his lap, he'd tried to fight it, to keep hold of the man a little longer, but strong arms had peeled him away.

John Paul's face had been half covered by an oxygen mask whilst needles appeared to be forced under his skin. Words like "fluids" and "blood pressure" echoed in Craig's head but they didn't want to connect to any reality.

A comforting arm rested around Craig's shoulders. Was it Linda's, Adrian's, one of the paramedics? Craig didn't know, he didn't have the strength to turn his head and look. He didn't have the strength to do anything but stand and watch as the broken body of his love was placed onto a stretcher.

John Paul looked so pale. Craig had always loved that porcelain skin, its radiance, its softness, the way it tasted, the way it smelt. But now it was different. It was pallid, lifeless and dull. It was as if the essence of John Paul was slowly draining away through the wound in his belly and all Craig could do was stand and watch.

"Are you coming with us?" Craig was asked the question three times before the arm around his shoulders guided him into the ambulance, the figure sitting beside him, never letting go.

---

"Excuse me," Linda said to a passing nurse, "You couldn't get me something could you… to wash his hands…" Linda gestured to where Craig was sat cocooned in his misery in the relatives' room.

"There's a toilet just down the corridor," the nurse advised with a kind smile.

"I know… but I can't get him to move… I'm not even sure he knows I'm here… please… can't you just get me something… a bowl of water and a cloth… I can't leave him like that."

"I'll see what I can do."

Linda returned to Craig's side, taking the seat next to him and placing a comforting hand on his knee.

"You OK Craig?"

Linda didn't expect a response and she didn't get one. From the second she had raced out of the club a few hours earlier to find John Paul lying in a pool of blood Craig had seemed gone. It looked as if he were incapable of reacting, of thinking, he moved to where she guided him but other than that he was completely absent.

Linda had fought to hold back her tears as she gave the hospital John Paul's details and listened while the doctor informed her the young man was being rushed into surgery, his internal bleeding was severe and had to be stopped as quickly as possible.

Craig sat looking at his hands. The blood on them was dried now. The rich crimson colour had faded to a rusty brown, the shine of life that it held was now dull, just like John Paul's eyes had looked the moment before they closed, the sparkle of life seemingly draining from them.

"I love you Craig." John Paul's words were stuck on a loop that played round and round in Craig's brain, taunting him until he thought he might go insane. John Paul loved him. John Paul thought he was beautiful. John Paul could be dying, even now as Craig sat staring at the blood that had dried on his skin, that gentle man was fighting for his life. A fight he could lose and if John Paul lost, then so would Craig.

Linda took the bowl of warm water from the nurse with a grateful smile, placing it on her seat as she knelt before Craig.

"Let's get you cleaned up eh?" She said, more to break the deafening silence than in any real attempt to make conversation.

The water quickly turned a red brown colour as she dipped Craig's hands in. The sight of the blood turning liquid again made Linda feel nauseous, the thought of rinsing John Paul's blood from Craig's skin making her want to weep with anger, with frustration but mostly with unabashed grief.

"There we go," Linda said finally as she dried Craig's clean hands on the soft towel.

"What have I done?" Craig's voice came in a pained whisper and for the first time in hours he lifted his face to meet Linda's gaze. "Linda what have I done? What if he…"

"You haven't done anything Craig," Linda replied, still kneeling before the pained man with his hand held tightly in her own.

"But if… if I hadn't made him come to Dublin… if I hadn't come to the club… if I hadn't thought those things about him… if I hadn't loved him…"

"Craig no," Linda said softly, letting go of Craig's hands to cradle his face gently. "You aren't responsible for this… you didn't make John Paul come here… he wanted to… he wanted to be with you…"

"It's all my fault," Craig insisted.

"No it isn't…"

"He'd have been better off without me… all I've ever done is hurt him and now…"

"Craig stop it," Linda's tone grew firm, she couldn't stand the pain and self loathing in Craig's voice, in Craig's eyes. "You aren't responsible… you didn't do this to him…"

"But if it wasn't for me…"

"He'd be miserable… Craig you're forgetting… I knew John Paul before you came back into his life… I know how unhappy he was then… how much happier he is now… especially being here with you… it's all he ever wanted Craig… You're all he ever wanted… god last week he said…" Linda paused as John Paul's words on the telephone the previous week echoed in her head, it was almost as if he knew.

"What?" Craig asked, "What did he say?"

Linda chewed her lip thoughtfully, uncertain if she should say, uncertain if the words would be a comfort or an agony.

"He… he…" Linda swallowed heavily. "John Paul was telling me how wonderful your life together was and he said… he said 'Lin if I died tomorrow I'd be happy.'"

Craig let his head fall into the support of Linda's hands.

"Lin what if he…"

"He won't…"

"But what if…"

"John Paul's strong… he's a McQueen… they're fighters… you know that… John Paul won't let this take him away from you… I promise."

"The McQueen's," Craig gasped jumping unsteadily to his feet and almost knocking Linda over. "I need to call them… how do I tell them Lin… god what do I say?"

"It's OK," Linda said pulling herself upright and taking Craig's hands again, "I spoke to Jacqui earlier… her and Myra are coming over as soon as they can get a flight…"

"Lin what am I gonna do… I can't lose him I just can't…"

"You won't Craig," Linda said pulling the man close into her arms, holding him tight to offer the only comfort she could, but they both knew that Craig would find no comfort until it was John Paul he was holding again.

Linda stepped back as the doctor, the surgeon, entered the room. His facemask was pulled down and his expression was one of unreadable calm. Craig took a deep breath, his hand reaching for Linda's as the man began to speak.


	5. Chapter 5

John Paul looked peaceful, as if all the cares and worries of life had left him. His porcelain skin was blemishless in repose and Craig touched his fingers to it lightly, almost nervously, as if he wasn't sure how it might feel.

The white bed linen was stark and virtually crease free, covering John Paul's immobile body, and the air held the familiar tang of hospital disinfectants.

Craig walked slowly to the window, looking out at the world beyond. The first hints of morning were breaking through the dark and Craig felt exhausted, yet he had no desire to seek rest. He had sent Linda back to the flat a few hours earlier, despite her protestations, as she was nearly falling asleep on her feet. But more than looking after Linda's welfare Craig wanted John Paul to himself for a while. The noise and bustle of the previous hours had passed and a strange calm filled the hospital room where Craig lingered with the prone form of his boyfriend.

"D'you remember the first time we met?" Craig asked, turning from the window and looking back towards the bed. "I thought you were a right weirdo back then!" Craig laughed softly as he recalled the day so many years ago when the paths of two schoolboys crossed and, unknown to them both, their lives changed immeasurably.

"I had no idea just how much you would come to mean to me." Craig returned to the bed, allowing his weary body to come to rest in the chair placed beside it. "You changed my life John Paul McQueen… you changed ME. I wish I'd been able to appreciate it sooner… I wasted so much time trying to deny what I felt for you… How did you forgive me so many times… so many things? All those times that I lied to you… hurt you… and you were still there… still loving me… I never deserved that much love John Paul… but nothing ever stopped you did it? D'you remember the first time we made love? God I was so scared… I wanted you so much that day… all I could think about was touching you… kissing you… I needed to know if what I was feeling was real. I'm so sorry John Paul… so sorry for how I acted… what I said… being with you made me feel so alive but at the same time it terrified me… Why couldn't I see what was so obvious? Why didn't I have the strength to stand up and say what I wanted… who I wanted? How did you manage to be so patient with me?"

Craig sighed sadly and wiped away the tears that were forming in his eyes. So much lost time that they would never get back, so much time that they could have been together, been happy, if only Craig had been stronger.

"You said I was beautiful." Craig leant forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his hands. "But look at you… you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen… The very thought of you takes my breath away. Looking into the blue of your eyes makes me melt… You're the truly beautiful one John Paul… inside and out… I'm so sorry I didn't trust you… I just… I guess I find it hard to believe that you can really love me this much… as much as I love you… How can somebody as perfect as you want someone like me? I'm so ordinary John Paul… and only you can see past that… I get that now… I've always been a bit slow on the uptake eh? I should never have thought you wanted someone else… if I hadn't… you wouldn't be here… we would be at home now… I'd be holding you in my arms… Can you forgive me John Paul? Can you ever forgive me?"

Craig didn't remember falling asleep, but exhaustion must have finally taken him over and it was the pressure of a hand on his shoulder that roused him from a troubled slumber.

"You should go home and get some rest," the pretty brunette nurse said kindly as she looked into Craig's tired eyes, circled with dark and filled with worry.

"I'm not leaving him," Craig insisted as he looked to John Paul.

"He's not going anywhere… you're exhausted."

"He needs me… I'm gonna be here when he wakes up… I'm not letting him down again."

"He's heavily sedated," the nurse insisted, even though she could tell the young man was not going to be swayed. "It's gonna be some time before he comes round."

"And I'll be here when he does," Craig replied taking hold of John Paul's hand, "I'll always be here."

Once the nurse had gone Craig sat quietly, his fingers laced between John Paul's, relishing the warmth of the man's skin. It scared him to think how close he had come to never feeling that heat again and Craig knew that he would never forget how he almost lost everything.

As tiredness began to claw at his brain moments of the past few hours flashed like snapshots in Craig's mind. A turmoil of emotions churned through his stomach, anger at finding John Paul in Adrian's arms, relief when he realised that John Paul loved him and only him, fear when he first saw a glimpse of the blade that had pierced John Paul's flesh, panic as John Paul lay limply in his arms, his blood slowly pulsing between Craig's fingers; and then came the numbness. It had been as if his senses had become overloaded shutting down rather than feel any more of that pain, closing out the fear and panic and leaving him empty.

Craig had felt caught in a moment, unable to think beyond the sight of John Paul's blood as it slowly dried on his hands.

Craig's eyelids began to droop and his head slumped forward onto his chest.

He could remember the doctor's face so clearly as he stood in the relative's room explaining how John Paul had fared in surgery, but he couldn't remember a single word that was said. The doctor's lips were pink and full as they moved around the words and Craig had watched as they curved into a smile before leaving the room.

Linda's hug had been fierce and her laugh warm and bright. It was then that Craig knew John Paul had pulled through, it was only then that he dared hope to see the shine of his beautiful blue eyes again and feel the warmth of his lips and it was then that Craig felt the renewed beating of his heart.

Craig stirred slowly, wincing at the shooting pains that charged through his back and neck. His face had come to rest on the surface of the clean white sheets of the hospital bed as his body's need for rest had finally overcome him.

Craig felt the wrench of pain in his chest, far sharper than the physical pains of his body, as the memories of the last few hours reassembled in his mind. A strange notion teased at the back of Craig's thoughts, tempting him with the knowledge of something important that he couldn't quite access.

Then the realisation hit him. As he lay with his head resting on the bed a gentle hand was stroking lightly through his hair.

Sitting bolt upright in his chair, all pains were forgotten as Craig took in the sight of two bright blue eyes looking back at him.

"John Paul…" Craig's words were more of a gasp as he reached out his hands to touch John Paul's face, almost as if he was making sure the man was real.

"Thought you were never gonna wake up," John Paul teased, his voice drawn and weak as the words forced their way through his dry cracked throat.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been hit by a bus!"

"Oh god John Paul." Without warning all of the pent up emotions that Craig had struggled to keep in check broke free. Silent tears cascaded in rivers over his cheeks as Craig gripped John Paul's hands tightly, holding on as if he might never be able to let go again.

"Hey…hey… what's all this...?" John Paul asked at Craig's unexpected outpouring of distress.

"I almost… I thought… John Paul I thought I was gonna lose you… I was so scared, I've never been so scared in my whole life… please don't ever leave me John Paul… I can't cope without you… I need you… tell me you'll never leave me… even when we're old and I've got no teeth and I've gone bald and don't even remember my own name… don't leave…" Craig's words tumbled from his mouth, tripping up over each other in a rush to be heard and to be understood.

Craig's grip on John Paul's hands was so tight that it almost hurt yet John Paul felt no desire to complain and no wish to ask the man to release his hold.

While waiting for Craig to awaken John Paul had thought back to the moment when he wasn't sure he would ever experience the man's touch again. His body had felt so heavy as it lay on the cold ground, his head supported by Craig's thighs, Craig's hands pressing against the wound in his belly. The weight of John Paul's limbs had turned to numbness and he had felt more exhausted that he had ever felt before. But there had been no pain. He kept expecting the pain and it never came. Instead there was Craig. Craig and his beautiful smile, his beautiful eyes and his beautiful heart. Craig who was quickly fading into soft focus until John Paul couldn't make him out at all.

The last time John Paul had told Craig he loved him he had really been saying goodbye. With each beat of his heart John Paul had felt his life slipping a little further away and the only thing he really regretted was not having more time with Craig. But it seemed that the gods had given him a second chance.

"I'm going nowhere," John Paul promised, tears glistening in his own eyes, "And I don't care if you get old, or bald or senile or anything… I love you Craig Dean… I need you… and I plan to spend the rest of my life… my long, long life… telling you just how much."

"You promise?"

"I promise… always…"

Craig's kiss was nervous, tentative, the need to feel the softness and the warmth of John Paul's mouth battling with the fear of hurting the blonde man.

John Paul lifted himself from his pillow, ignoring the sudden pains that ripped through his stomach as he moved, in his urgency to meet Craig's kiss.

Their lips met gently, whispering between them their love, their fear and their need. John Paul slipped his hands behind Craig's neck, stroking the soft skin as he pulled the man closer to him.

With a gasp of uncontrollable agony John Paul broke the kiss and fell back against his pillow. A hit of nausea passed over him as wash after wash of pain assaulted his body, making him close his eyes and hold his breath until it eased.

John Paul opened his eyes slowly to see the deep concern etched in Craig's features.

"You OK?" Craig asked, feeling a renewed guilt that he had hurt John Paul, "What is it?"

"It's alright," John Paul insisted, breathing deeply as the initial hit of pain eased into a steady throb, "I just think the pain killers are wearing off."

Craig opened his eyes wide. "I never thought… I should have called a nurse… let them know you're awake…"

Craig reached for the alarm to call for medical assistance but John Paul grabbed his hand, stopping him.

"Not yet," he said running his hands up the length of Craig's arms before pulling the man against him until Craig's head was resting on his chest. "Let's have a few more minutes yeah? There'll be enough people in here soon… Let me have you to myself a for a little while longer…"

Craig closed his eyes as he listened to the steady, strong beat of John Paul's heart, relishing the feel of John Paul's arms tight around him. He didn't know how he would ever have coped if John Paul had died, and he silently thanked whatever god's were responsible that they had decided not to take his love away just yet.

John Paul lowered his face to kiss the top of Craig's head. The pain in his belly seemed a background noise, hidden behind the beating of his heart as it told of his deep and undying love.

The sudden scream of machinery and alarms happened the exact second that John Paul's arms slipped from their hold of Craig.

Craig had grown so accustomed to the regular song of the monitors that he had stopped hearing them but now, as they proclaimed a problem, they seemed suddenly deafening.

Insistent arms pulled Craig away from the bed as a swarm of medical staff assessed John Paul's condition.

"He was just talking to me," Craig said over the babble of medical jargon, "He's gonna be OK isn't he? He promised he wouldn't leave me…"

"You should probably wait outside." The blonde nurse smiled gently at Craig but his eyes were fixed on the man in the bed.

"He promised," Craig repeated, refusing to be moved, "You don't know… John Paul wouldn't break a promise… he just wouldn't…"

"What's happened?" Linda's hand slipped into Craig's instinctively, offering comfort as well as needing it. Part of her had hoped that when she got back to the hospital John Paul would be awake and the worst of this nightmare would be over. But seeing Craig's panicked face as he stood leaning against the wall, watching as the medical staff worked on his boyfriend, Linda couldn't help but fear she had arrived too late.

"He was just talking to me," Craig sobbed in a broken voice, "He said he wouldn't leave me again… he promised… he won't break his promise to me will he Lin? Tell me John Paul won't break his promise…"

Linda held back the tears as she watched the agony that glistened in Craig's eyes. It would be easy to tell him what he wanted to hear but she was afraid that it might not be the truth.

"Not if he can help it," Linda said quietly, "He'll fight to stay with you Craig… I know he will."

John Paul's pale white chest was uncovered as the doctor placed two pink-toned pads against his skin. Craig flinched as the sudden shock from the defibrillators caused his limp body to jump and he turned his head to bury his face against Linda, unable to watch the torment being inflicted on the man he loved.

Craig had never really believed in god or religion or all those other aspects of faith that seemed to give so many people hope. But now, as the seconds seemed to drag into hours Craig closed his eyes and prayed. He prayed like he had when he was younger, hoping and begging his father to come back home. That time god had refused his pleas. This time Craig hoped that his prayers would be answered because if they weren't… Craig closed his eyes tighter, he couldn't face the possibility that his prayer would be ignored a second time.

Linda held Craig tightly against her. The man was trembling in her arms and she didn't know how much longer she would be able to stay strong for him. She felt as if John Paul had been a part of her life forever, when in reality they had only met a few years earlier as they started HCC. They had fallen in to sharing a flat when Linda couldn't stand living in halls any longer and John Paul needed an escape from the claustrophobic atmosphere of the McQueen house. They had had a third flatmate for a while, but the friendship between John Paul and Linda had been so strong that they barely noticed when he decided to move out. For a while their bond had been one that didn't allow room for other people, at least not until Craig came back. Linda was surprised that she never felt a moment's jealousy as Craig took her friend away from her. How could she ever resent someone who made John Paul that happy?

The noise of the defibrillators charging again cackled in the room and John Paul's body was rocked with a second shockwave.

The room held its breath in silence, and then, a sound sweeter than the greatest music ever written, the beeping of the monitors resumed a slow, steady rhythm.

Craig moved out of Linda's embrace as the doctor approached. His face held a practiced smile as he stopped before the young couple.

"What happened?" Craig asked, his eyes flicking from John Paul as the nurses straightened his bedding, to the doctor who held all the answers.

"He had an arrhythmia…" The doctor paused at the blank look on Craig's face. "His heart was beating out of rhythm… it was going too slow… that's what caused him to lose consciousness… we had to shock him to get it back into normal sinus rhythm… I know it can look pretty frightening but..."

"He's gonna be OK now?" Linda interrupted as Craig stepped away from her.

"He's still very poorly… but that young man certainly seems to be a fighter," the doctor squeezed Linda's shoulder gently. "He's obviously got something worth fighting for."

Linda pointedly looked towards the bed where Craig was stroking John Paul's face gently; whispering soft words of love that only they could hear.

"Yes he has," Linda replied with a smile.

The doctor watched in amazement as Linda went to join her friends. He would have bet money on the fact that the pretty blonde girl was his patient's partner. The doctor shook his head and smiled as he left the room, as long as the young man had something, someone, worth fighting for that was all that really mattered.

John Paul's eyes flickered open slowly. The fuzzy room seemed to come gradually into focus as John Paul's gaze settled on the beauty of the man leaning over him.

"Craig?" John Paul's brow furrowed slightly as he looked at the worry in the darker man's deep brown eyes.

"You're gonna have to stop scaring me like that," Craig said with a smile as a single tear trickled down his cheek.

John Paul lifted an arm that felt strangely heavy to brush away the teardrop. "I promised I wouldn't leave you," John Paul said quietly.

---

"Let's go and get a coffee," Linda suggested quietly.

The three friends had sat in a warm companionship for a couple of hours, talking about anything and nothing, both Linda and Craig holding tightly onto one of John Paul's hands. Eventually John Paul had drifted into a restful sleep. Linda's body ached from the uncomfortable hospital chair, just as she knew Craig's must.

"I'm not leaving him," Craig insisted, his gaze resting fondly on the sleeping features of the man he almost lost.

"Craig you need to take a break," Linda insisted, "Have you even eaten since last night?"

"It doesn't matter…"

"Yes it does." Linda got stiffly to her feet and walked around the bed to rest her hands on Craig's shoulders. "I know you want to be here for him… but he needs you to be strong… what use are you gonna be if you collapse from exhaustion eh? Craig please… at least come and get a coffee and a sandwich… we'll be back in a few minutes."

Craig's stomach growled at the mention of food and he realised it had been well over twenty-four hours since he last ate. At first he had been too upset to eat because he thought that John Paul had… Craig winced internally. How much better would it have been if John Paul had been cheating on him. Better than this. Better than facing a world without John Paul in it.

"Craig?"

"Yeah OK," Craig agreed, getting to his feet and reluctantly releasing his hold of John Paul's hand. "But just a quick sandwich… then I'm coming right back…"

---

The door to John Paul's room was slightly open when Craig and Linda returned from the cafeteria and Craig's heart instantly sank as he raced towards it.

Craig's urgent panic subsided as he reached the door and saw that it wasn't a medical team beside John Paul's bed, but rather a tired and distressed looking Myra and Jacqui that were holding the young man's hands as he tried earnestly to convince them that he was OK.

The three heads turned as Craig and Linda entered the room. John Paul's eyes sparkled like bright sapphires at the sight of his lover and his friend, grateful that they would be able to diffuse some of the worry in his mother's and sister's faces.

"Myra… Jacqui," Craig smiled his greeting, he could hardly say he was happy to see them, not under the current circumstances.

"How did this happen?" Myra asked with tears in her eyes. "Who would want to hurt my baby like this?"

"I don't know Myra… I sorry… we were…" A flash from John Paul's eyes stilled Craig's tongue as he realised that John Paul hadn't mentioned their fight. "We were in the street," Craig continued, making a quick correction to what he had been going to say, "and this guy just came from nowhere…"

"I hope you gave the police a good description," Jacqui snarled, wishing that she had the description of the thug that had dared hurt her little brother in this way.

Craig frowned as he realised the police hadn't even been in to question them yet.

"I didn't really see him… it all happened so fast and… and I was more concerned about John Paul at the time…"

"Oh John Paul," Myra stroked her son's forehead gently, "You need to come home where I can look after you…"

"No mum," John Paul said, reaching out a hand to Craig. Craig's fingers slipped naturally in-between John Paul's as they looked at each other and smiled. "I already am home."

---

Craig looked at the man lying in the hospital bed and smiled. John Paul's skin was pale, paler even than usual, and the brightness of his blue eyes was partially marred by the dark circles beneath them. Whenever he moved John Paul would wince slightly with the discomfort in his belly. But despite all of that Craig couldn't get over how beautiful the man looked, how alive.

Jacqui had finally convinced her mother to head back to their bed and breakfast to get some much needed rest, neither woman having slept since finding out about John Paul's attack, and Linda had decided there was somewhere else she needed to be, thoughtfully giving the two men some time alone.

"I'm so sorry…" Craig sighed, running his fingertips lightly over John Paul's forehead.

"What for?"

"All of this… if it wasn't for me… if I hadn't thought… god I wish I could take it all back John Paul… I really do…" Craig closed his eyes for a second as a hit of guilt assaulted him.

"Hey… hey Craig… Look at me…" John Paul gripped Craig's hand tightly as the older man slowly opened his eyes. "None of this was your fault… and I don't want you thinking it was…"

"But if…"

"No… I don't blame you and I don't want you to either…"

"But if I…"

"Craig are we gonna argue about this?" John Paul laughed softly, "Cause if we are you KNOW I'm gonna pull the 'lying in a hospital bed so you have to agree with me' card!"

Craig couldn't help but echo John Paul's laugh. How could that amazing man take a knife to the belly and still end up being more concerned for Craig's welfare than his own?

"But I AM sorry," Craig insisted, "Sorry that I thought… that I didn't trust you…"

John Paul titled his head slightly and seeing the deep regret in Craig's rich chocolate eyes he held the man's hand tighter. For a moment John Paul considered letting the matter drop, it didn't matter any more, they were together and they were safe. But at the same time John Paul knew that if he didn't ask he would always be left wondering, what was it that he had done, or said, to make Craig jump to his mistaken conclusion so easily.

"Why didn't you?" John Paul asked quietly, peering at Craig from beneath his pale eyelashes as the man looked down at their clasped hands.

"I don't know," Craig replied in a barely audible whisper.

"Craig!" John Paul said in a gentle tone while still conveying the fact that he didn't believe him.

"It's just…" Craig started, raising his gaze to look into the sapphires of John Paul's eyes.

"Just what?"

"I thought… I don't… I can't…" Craig took a deep breath as he tried to form the words around his thoughts. "I mean look at you… you're gorgeous, you're funny, you're clever… sexy… amazing… wonderful… John Paul you're all the things I'm not… why wouldn't you realise that you can do better than me? That you deserve better than me? Everyday I can't believe that you're still with me… I can't believe that you still want me… I guess I'm just waiting for the day when you realise you made a mistake."

"Craig you're an idiot," John Paul said with a laugh.

"And I'm an idiot," Craig replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Don't you understand… all those things… everything you just said… that's what I see when I look at you… Don't you think I don't get scared thinking that one day you're gonna decide you want something else… someone else…"

"But I don't… I wouldn't…"

"And neither would I!"

"I AM an idiot aren't I?" Craig asked with a rueful smile that shone in the depths of his soft brown eyes.

"Good job I've got a thing for idiots then isn't it?" John Paul chuckled.

"You do?"

"Well one idiot anyway… a gorgeous, sexy, caring, amazing idiot who doesn't even see how wonderful he is…"

"Sounds like he's a bit of a loser," Craig said, "You could probably do better…"

"No I couldn't," John Paul insisted, "How could I ever do any better than being with the person I love more than my own life?"

Before Craig could answer John Paul's lips were pressed firmly against his mouth. The soft heat of John Paul's tongue ran teasingly over Craig's lips until they parted to grant it access.

John Paul's heart felt full as he held Craig tightly. Part of him had been afraid that Craig had lost faith in him but in truth Craig's doubt had only ever been with himself. Craig has seen something in John Paul's friendship with Adrian purely because he didn't believe that he deserved that much love, John Paul was just going to have to show him how wrong he was. And he planned to do just that, every day for the rest of his life.

"I love you, you fool!" John Paul said as their lips parted.

Craig sighed at the beauty that looked at him with such love. "When I look at you I…" Craig's words failed as he realised there was nothing that could ever reflect what he saw when he looked into John Paul's eyes.

"You know what I see when I look at you?" John Paul asked, his hands cupping Craig's face softly.

"An idiot?"

"That too! But mostly what I see… I see the future… our future…"

"I like the sound of that…"

---

"Alright lads?"

John Paul and Craig both looked up as Adrian entered the hospital room, Craig eyes instantly flicking back down to the floor with embarrassment. The last time he had seen Adrian had been in the club when Craig had accused him of sleeping with John Paul. Craig's cheeks flushed as he remembered screaming his accusations in the stillness of the room before racing out. Had Adrian been outside later when the ambulance arrived? Craig couldn't recall, all he really knew of that time was the sight of John Paul laying limply on the stretcher and the feel of John Paul's blood coating his hands.

"So how's my favourite DJ?" Adrian asked squeezing John Paul's shoulder before placing a brown paper bag on his bedside cabinet. "Got you some grapes… seems to be the done thing for hospital visiting… so I'm told."

"I'm OK," John Paul replied, "And thanks…"

Adrian settled into the chair opposite Craig, trying to hide his smile as he noticed Craig resolutely avoiding making eye contact.

"You are alright though?" Adrian asked with a worried frown. "I mean things looked pretty serious when they loaded you into that ambulance… the pavement's still covered with blood stains."

"I'm fine… honestly… bit sore but nothing that some rest and having Craig run around and wait on me hand and foot for a few months wont fix." John Paul giggled as Craig looked up sharply.

"Months?" Craig asked with a laugh.

"Am I not worth it?" John Paul bemoaned.

"Hmm I suppose," Craig replied with a lopsided grin.

"Look John Paul there's something… I mean I didn't just come to see if you were OK." Adrian's face held a sudden air of seriousness and John Paul felt a cold chill run unexpectedly down his spine.

"What is it?"

"Well it's… it's about the bloke that attacked you…"

"D'you know who he is?" Craig blurted out, looking at Adrian's face for the first time since the man entered the room.

"Kind of… well… Look the thing is… No offence Craig… but when you charged out of the club last night… well you looked pretty wild… so when John Paul went to find you I kinda sent Chris along to keep an eye on things…"

"Chris?" Craig asked, trying to put a face to the name.

"The bouncer," John Paul explained without taking his eyes from Adrian.

"Anyway," Adrian continued, "Chris watched you from across the street… just to make sure you were OK… Like I said Craig… you were pretty wild and I wasn't sure what you might do…"

"Yeah I… I understand," Craig said, feeling a fresh wash of shame that anyone considered the possibility that he might have hurt John Paul.

"And then when Chris saw things we OK… well he didn't really fancy staying around to watch you two make up so he was about to head back into the club when he saw those guys go running past… I mean Chris just thought you'd been hit but the second he saw what had really happened… well he raced off after them…"

"I never even noticed him," Craig said in bemusement. But then he wouldn't have noticed anything at that moment, as he held the bleeding body of John Paul in his arms, his entire attention had been consumed with the blonde haired man.

"So he's been caught then?" John Paul asked. That would explain why the police hadn't been in for a description yet.

"Not exactly… turns out the guy… the one who actually stabbed you was rather wired… on something…"

Craig growled softly in his throat. If he thought that was going to be some kind of defence for what he did to John Paul then he'd better think again.

"He ran straight out into the traffic," Adrian continued.

"Is he OK?" John Paul was surprise to hear himself even ask the question.

"He was killed outright."

"Good." Craig felt two sets of eyes suddenly staring at him but he couldn't take the comment back.

John Paul opened his mouth to object at Craig's apparent heartlessness but then paused. How would he feel if someone had done that to Craig? He knew without hesitation that his reaction would have matched that of his lovers identically.

The men continued to talk for a while before Adrian lifted himself from the uncomfortable hospital chair and said his goodbyes.

"Now you look after yourself," He told John Paul with another friendly squeeze to his shoulder.

As soon as Adrian left the room Craig got to his feet.

"I'll be right back," He said as he headed out of the door.

"Adrian wait…"

"Craig… what's up?"

"Nothing I just…" Craig rubbed at his neck nervously, "Look I just wanted to say I'm sorry… you know for what I said… for making a scene at the club… I wasn't thinking and I… well I'm just sorry…"

Adrian smiled with sympathetic understanding. "Forget it," he said kindly, "John Paul had already driven most of the customers away with his maudlin tunes! But Craig seriously… don't go looking for problems where there aren't any… life has enough of those without creating them!"

"I know… I… I'm just an idiot!"

Adrian laughed lightly. "Hey we can all do stupid things in the name of love!"

"Yeah… John Paul told me about the Jason and Kylie thing…"

"At least you made a fool of yourself in an almost empty club," Adrian joked, "I had the whole place looking at me!"

Craig couldn't hold back his giggles as he pictured the very masculine looking Adrian walking onto an empty dance floor to a Jason and Kylie song.

"Look Craig… I've gotta go… need to find another new DJ…"

Craig laughter died as quickly as it started. "New DJ? You're not… you're not sacking John Paul are you?"

Adrian shook his head. "Temporary DJ," he explained. "You think I'd replace that lad? He's worth holding on to… but then you know that."

Craig smiled as Adrian walked away. "I certainly do," he said as he watched the man disappear around the corner.


	6. Chapter 6

"John Paul?"

"Hmm?" John Paul opened his sleepy eyes to look into the gentle face beside him. After a couple of days in hospital his condition was much improved and he was soon scheduled to be moved from a quiet side room into the main ward. Although this signified that he was well on the way to recovery, it also meant that the strict visiting hours would then be enforced, and so Craig was making the most of sitting by his bed while he still could.

"I was thinking," Craig said quietly, "About what your mum said…"

John Paul shrugged as he pulled himself into a sitting position, the pain in his belly considerably less than it has been only the day before. "What my mum said about what?"

"Well you know… about going back to Hollyoaks… only I was thinking… if you wanted to do that…"

"Why… why would I want to do that?" The creases in John Paul's brow deepened as he spoke. "I meant what I said Craig… my home is here now… with you…"

"I know I…" Craig rubbed at his neck in the familiar gesture of uncertainty that John Paul had long since grown to recognise and love. "I just thought… maybe you feel differently about Dublin now… after this…"

"Craig," John Paul said in a soft understanding tone, "What happened… it could have happened anywhere… and I'm not gonna blame Dublin for the actions of one moron!"

"Yeah I know… I just… I thought… I dunno…" Craig shrugged his shoulders. John Paul had packed up his life and moved to Dublin because it was what Craig wanted and, as a result, the gentle kind man was now lying in a hospital bed with a knife wound to his belly. The thought of being the cause of any type of hurt being inflicted on John Paul, no matter how peripherally, made Craig feel physically sick and if John Paul had asked to move back to Hollyoaks Craig would have happily packed his bags that day and never once looked back.

"Craig, I love living in Dublin," John Paul insisted with a deep smile. "I love working at the club… I love our flat… our friends… our neighbours… I love how excited you look when you've had a good day at work and you can't wait to tell me all about it… I love our life here, together. And this…" John Paul gestured casually at his belly, "this is not enough to give up all of that…"

"Have I mentioned how incredible you are lately?" Craig asked with a smile that was heavily laced with love and awe.

"Maybe," John Paul laughed, "But feel free to tell me again…"

Craig laughed softly as he leant forward. "You know what I love?" He asked with a grin.

"Me?"

"You!"

Craig moved in closer, his mouth touching warmly against John Paul's lips in a kiss as familiar as their own breath and yet as exciting as any roller-coaster ride.

"Don't mind me," Linda said as she walked in on the kissing men.

"Hey Lin," Craig said, reluctantly pulling back from his boyfriend. Looking around Craig noticed Linda dragging her suitcase into the corner of the room. "All packed then?"

"I didn't really get that much unpacked!" Linda replied kissing him on the cheek in greeting before walking around the other side of the bed and repeating the action with John Paul. "And I would like to thank you both for a wonderful trip to Dublin!"

"Hey if you think this was something," John Paul joked, "Wait till next time… we might even show you MORE than the inside of a hospital!"

Craig laughed at John Paul's suggestion. How amazing it was that they were already able to find humour in John Paul's hospitalisation where only a few days earlier the situation had filled him with sheer terror. John Paul's eyes sparkled with the bright blue that Craig had feared he would never see again as he laughed gently at his own joke.

Linda placed her hands over her mouth in mock excitement as she sat on the chair beside the bed. Placing both hands flat on the surface of the bed Linda looked back and forward between her two friends.

How different all of their lives might have been if Craig hadn't returned to Hollyoaks that day. How ironic that Frankie's death helped to save her son from only ever living half a life, saved John Paul from living his life without the man he loved and saved Linda from missing out on witnessing the greatest friendship and greatest love she had ever seen.

"Maybe when I come back next time," Linda said leaning forward with a smile playing on her lips and a glint in her eyes, "Maybe it can be on my hen-night!"

The two men looked at each other for a moment before turning their heads simultaneously towards Linda. With a grin Linda stretched out her hand, a small diamond ring glistening, previously unnoticed, on her finger.

"You're engaged?" John Paul asked with open-mouthed amazement. "Why didn't you say sooner..?"

"Well I planned to," Linda said with a sad smile, "But one or two things kind of got in the way… you are happy for me aren't you?"

In an instant Craig was on his feet, pulling Linda upright before sweeping her into his arms and spinning her around. Linda giggled uncontrollably as Craig lowered her to the floor, pressing a warm loving kiss to her lips.

"I would do the same," John Paul said with a regretful grimace, "But I'd better skip it this time."

"Allow me," Craig said with a laugh as he scooped Linda into the air again, spinning around until they were both dizzy.

"C'mere," John Paul said holding out his arms to his dear friend, "I can still manage the kiss."

Linda staggered shakily to the bed, allowing John Paul's arms to hold and steady her as he mirrored the warmth of Craig's kiss perfectly.

"I can't believe it," John Paul said as Linda slipped back into her chair, "You… gonna be an old married woman!"

"Hey," Linda objected. "Not so much with the old! You ARE gonna come over for the wedding aren't you?"

John Paul giggled softly. "What? You mean we're not gonna be bridesmaids? I think Craig would look lovely in pink taffeta!"

"Hey!" Craig objected.

"You watch it…" Linda laughed, "Or I might just hold you to that!"

"Course we'll be there Lin," John Paul said squeezing the young woman's hand, "We wouldn't miss it…"

Looking at her watch Linda let out a sigh. "I really have to be going," Linda said reluctantly, "Or I'm gonna miss my flight… and as gorgeous as you fella's are… I've got a wonderful bloke back at home waiting for me!"

Getting slowly to her feet Linda leant over the bed to kiss John Paul's cheek.

"You take care," she told him and the leant in a little closer to whisper in his ear. "And take care of Craig too… he needs it more than you might think."

Walking around the bed to Craig she hugged the dark haired man close. "You look after yourself," she said squeezing him tightly, "And look after John Paul… I want to see you both dancing at my wedding."

Grabbing hold of her suitcase Linda looked back at the two men. Craig had instinctively returned to John Paul's side, their fingers lacing together as they watched her depart.

Linda could still remember the first time she'd seen them together like that. Only a few days after Frankie's death when they had both realised that the love they had shared had never died, not for either of them. Linda had never seen two people so in tune before, their actions perfect reflections of each other and their need for physical contact so ingrained that no conscious decision was ever needed to know when their hands would join together. Linda had once envied such a love but at the same time it had given her hope that true love really did exist and now, with Patrick, she was beginning to discover how it felt and what it meant.

"See you guys soon," Linda said blowing them both a kiss as she opened the door. "Love you."

"Love you too," John Paul replied.

"Bye Lin… Love ya," Craig echoed.

"Now where were we?" John Paul asked, turning his full attention back to his boyfriend. "I think we've got a bit of time before mum and Jac get here…"

"Well I think I was about here," Craig said, slowly leaning forward and reclaiming the soft kiss from John Paul's delicious full mouth.

---

Craig dropped John Paul's bag to the floor, never for an instant releasing his hold around the younger man's waist. John Paul's strength had almost completely returned and he didn't really need Craig's support, but he knew how much Craig needed to give it and he gladly accepted the steadying hold as they walked into their living room.

John Paul was hit with the sudden memory of the last time they had both been in that room. He could almost hear the arguing and feel the rage as the angry accusations spilled from Craig's mouth. That had all happened weeks ago but walking back into the room made it feel as if it were only yesterday.

Craig saw the sudden sadness in John Paul's eyes and he knew without question what had caused it. Craig's unfounded accusations had caused John Paul enough pain and he hated the idea that it was still there.

"I am sorry…"

John Paul was brought back to the present moment by the sound of Craig's voice and he could see the guilt and regret shining in those two pools of melted chocolate.

"It's over now," John Paul said running his hand lightly over Craig's cheek. "We've got through worse… and we got through this… we're still here and that's all that matters."

Craig guided John Paul to the sofa where the younger man gladly sank into its soft cushions.

Myra and Jacqui had finally been persuaded to return to Hollyoaks after being convinced that the McQueen boy was out of any danger, and on the proviso that they got regular calls to update them on John Paul's progress.

John Paul had never been keen on being the centre of attention and finally being able to retire to the privacy of the flat was a great relief.

"Can I get you anything?" Craig asked hovering before John Paul nervously. "D'you need anything?"

John Paul laughed softly. "Yeah," he replied grabbing Craig's hands and pulling the man onto the sofa beside him. "You!"

John Paul pulled Craig close to him as their mouths pressed together hotly. It felt like years since they had been alone, been able to express their love in anything more than a constantly observed chaste kiss and John Paul's pent up desire was raging through him.

With his hands in Craig's hair John Paul's tongue explored the depths of Craig's mouth, within seconds both men were breathing heavily as the intensity of their kiss increased.

And then, without warning, Craig jumped to his feet. His hand rubbed furiously at his neck and John Paul knew that, by that simple gesture, something was troubling the man.

"D'you want a brew?" Craig asked, his eyes darting around the room as if he wanted to look anywhere but at John Paul. "I mean that hospital stuff was vile… you could probably do with a decent cuppa now."

"Craig what's wrong?" John Paul asked, catching hold of the hand that wasn't still rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Nothing," Craig insisted still not meeting John Paul's gaze. "I just thought you'd like a tea and…"

"Craig!" John Paul's voice was calm but firm and his gentle blue eyes finally pulled Craig's eye to him. "What's wrong… tell me…"

"Nothing… really…" With an almost imperceptible flicker Craig's eyes moved down to John Paul's belly before returning to his face as if they had never left.

The look may have lasted only a fraction of a second but the implications made John Paul afraid. Was it possible that having gone through what he had, seen what he had, that Craig no longer found John Paul desirable? Did the sight and feel of John Paul's blood that day quench all of Craig's longings?

"Craig, please…" John Paul held his breath as Craig allowed himself to be pulled back down onto the sofa. "Please just tell me…"

"I just I…" Craig chewed on his lip nervously. Looking into John Paul's eyes Craig discovered an ever-growing panic shadowing the bright blue and realised what John Paul was thinking. "I'm scared I might…" Craig's eyes flicked back to John Paul's belly, the look lingering longer. "… I might hurt you or something… you've been through so much and I don't want to…"

John Paul laughed. A warm gentle laugh that released his worry as the concern in Craig's voice seemed to caress his skin.

Lifting up the edge of his shirt the angry red of John Paul's scar was revealed. The stitches had only recently been removed and the skin was still showing evidence of bruising. Taking Craig's hand John Paul pressed it against his wounded body.

"I'm not made of china," he said gently, "And I won't break."

"You promise?"

Looking deeply into Craig's rich brown eyes John Paul realised that, regardless of what he had been through, Craig's suffering had been just as profound and yet that had been all but over looked.

Craig couldn't look away from the power of the clear azure gaze that held him. John Paul never just looked at Craig. He looked into him. John Paul saw far beyond the person that Craig projected to the world, he saw the sometimes scared, sometimes vulnerable and sometime just plan stupid man hidden beneath. With one look John Paul saw all of Craig's faults and flaws, just as he saw all of the man's strengths and courage, he saw every part that came together to make the whole man, and he loved every part without exception.

"Craig…" John Paul's fingers interlaced with Craig's as he decided it was time to say the thing he had avoided saying since he first awoke in the hospital. "When I… when I was lying on the ground and I was bleeding all I could feel was your hands pressing against me. I couldn't feel any pain, or the cold ground, or the air on my face… just you and your touch. I thought… I thought I was dying Craig… I thought that that was it… that I was never gonna see you again, never get to hold you or kiss you or tell you how much I love you. And as I looked at you I was glad that this face…" John Paul's hand touched against Craig's cheek. "…this beautiful, beautiful face was going to be the last thing I ever got to see. I was so glad about that, if I had to die then I wanted to be able to see you, too look into those eyes one last time. But the harder I looked the more you started to fade from me. And I tried… I really tried to keep on seeing you… but I couldn't… my eyes wouldn't focus on you any more… wouldn't let me see you… Then it was dark and I couldn't see you … but I could still feel your hands pressing against me… I could still hear your voice urging me to be OK… not to leave… and I didn't want to leave Craig… I really didn't…"

John Paul brushed his thumb over Craig's cheek to wipe away the tear that had tumbled slowly down it as the man listened to John Paul's words.

"I needed you that day Craig," John Paul continued. "I needed you to be there for me and to be strong… and you were… you are… I don't know how you did it… how you held on, how you coped, all that waiting, and all that not knowing… I don't know if I could have been that strong if I had been faced with losing you… you never seemed to falter, not for a second. Whenever I opened my eyes you were there… I love you so much Craig, maybe even more than I thought I could… they tried to take so much from us… to take everything from us… but we didn't let them…"

John Paul pushed Craig's hand harder against his scar, the remnants and memories of pain dancing through his body. "We're not weak Craig… either of us… but together we're so much stronger…." John Paul's hands cupped Craig's face as he kissed the man deeply.

"I just didn't want to hurt you," Craig said as John Paul's lips left his. The thought of adding to John Paul's physical injury has frightened Craig to his very core. The idea that loving him could hurt him was unbearable but Craig hadn't considered the possibility of how much not loving him would hurt them both, so much more.

"The only thing that can ever hurt me is being without you," John Paul said with a warm loving smile.

"I love you John Paul McQueen."

"Then show me…"

John Paul's lips brushed lightly over Craig's as his hands reached for the buttons of the man's shirt, slipping each one open to slowly reveal the softly tanned skin hidden beneath. Leaning back John Paul ran his hands over Craig's chest, relishing soft warmth of the man's body, watching the paleness of his own skin contrasted against the rich colour of his lovers, a perfect combination of coffee and cream.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating it was lying in that hospital bed and not being able to drag you in next to me?" John Paul asked, his eyes hungrily devouring the beauty of Craig's bare flesh before travelling back up to the brightness of his eyes.

Craig's smile was deep as his chest rose and fell heavily beneath John Paul's hands and his heart raced with pent up desires. It never ceased to amaze him how easily John Paul could arouse his passion, how a single touch from that man could excite him more than any he had ever known.

John Paul's buttons seemed to melt away under Craig's touch as he eased the dark blue shirt from the man's smooth white shoulders. John Paul sighed as Craig's mouth sought out the taste of his skin, nibbling gently at his neck and down over his chest, pushing John Paul backwards until he was lying down on the sofa, Craig's lips journeying over the pale porcelain flesh.

As he reached John Paul's belly Craig hesitated. His eyes flickered back to the soft blue pools of John Paul's that were looking down on him with total adoration and, without breaking the gaze, Craig pressed his lips gently but firmly against John Paul's scar.

"I love you," Craig said softly, his breath tickling warmly over John Paul's skin, "Every single inch of you!"

John Paul's hand played gently through Craig's hair, sighing in anticipation as Craig began to unfasten the man's jeans. As his raised his hips slightly John Paul's jeans were slowly removed. Hooking his thumbs into the waistband of John Paul's boxers he eased the man's clothing down, revealing inch by inch the perfect body beneath.

Craig ran his hands up the length of John Paul's milky thighs. There seemed to be something extra erotic about having the man lying totally naked before him when Craig himself was still almost fully clothed. It was as if he had John Paul completely at his mercy and the truth was, the higher Craig's hands moved, the more John Paul gave himself over to his lover.

Craig resumed caressing John Paul's skin with his lips, his tongue leaving a wet trail as it passed over John Paul's belly and thighs before teasing lightly over the head of John Paul's cock.

Craig smiled at the whimper of desperation that fell from John Paul's lips as the tip of his tongue touched against the glistening opening of the cock that seemed to jump up to meet his mouth. Circling his tongue around Craig lapped at the drops of precum that were waiting to be tasted.

John Paul's fingers curled into Craig's hair, his nails scratching at the man's scalp as Craig's tongue and lips continued to torment his aching cock, licking and kissing lightly over its length when it was desperate to be devoured.

"Craig please…"

John Paul's pleading words sent tremors of excitement coursing through Craig's body. Could there every be anything more exciting than that gorgeous man wanting him and needing him like that? Craig had never believed he would ever find a love so all consuming that all he ever wanted to do was give his lover pleasure, his own needs being a secondary thought, his own satisfaction a wonderful bonus, but never his main goal.

Then again Craig had never believed he would fall in love with a man, with his best friend, with John Paul.

Craig's fingers curled around the length of John Paul's cock, peeling back the foreskin to reveal the smooth head beneath. John Paul's breathing shook as Craig's lips parted and his cock was taken between them.

The deeper John Paul's moans became the further Craig would take the man into his mouth, sucking hard then lightly, his tongue swirling and then stationery, until the exquisite torment was almost too much.

"Oh god Craig…"

John Paul's eyes were closed, his head pressing hard against the arm of the sofa as his hips bucked of their own accord, desperate to drive his cock deeper into the heat of Craig's mouth. Craig willingly took John Paul's length into him until his face was close against the man's body, breathing in the scent that was more sensual than any perfume and a scent that was Craig's alone to enjoy.

John Paul's moans were growing deeper as the pleasure being created by Craig's mouth intensified. His cock throbbed heavily and John Paul knew that it would soon release his desire into Craig's eager throat.

"Craig wait…" John Paul gasped breathlessly, making the dark haired man look up in alarm.

Releasing John Paul's cock from its comfortable home Craig felt a moment of panic. What if something was wrong, they were too far from the hospital now what would he do? Craig's unease was instantly stilled but the impassioned look in John Paul's eyes. Their blue shining far brighter than they ever had before, so filled with love and so filled with life.

"What… what is it?" Craig asked as he looked into the face of an angel, his angel.

"I want…" John Paul's voice shook with desire as he spoke, "I want to come with you inside me… I want to feel you… make love to me Craig… I need it… I need you…"

Craig's heart swelled with immeasurable love, just as his groin swelled with incalculable desire and he leant forward to claim the softness of John Paul's mouth once more.

John Paul lifted his head to meet Craig's kiss, his hands lacing together at the back of Craig's neck as their tongues danced in the heat of their joined mouths.

Craig pulled back from the kiss, sitting upright for a moment to push his clothing hurriedly to the floor, the evidence of his arousal springing to attention the moment it was released. Turning back to John Paul he climbed onto the sofa and knelt between the mans thighs, stroking his hands over their softness as he raised them up, giving him access to John Paul's most intimate depths.

Moistening his fingertip with saliva Craig gently eased them between John Paul's buttocks, pushing apart the milky globes to press against the tightly inviting opening nestled at their centre.

Craig watched as John Paul's eyes widened at the increased pressure of Craig's fingers, slipping into his body and making John Paul gasp at their presence, pushing back against Craig's hand to force them deeper.

Leaning over John Paul's body Craig leant down to kiss the man again, his tongue plundering the depths of the blonde man's mouth as surely as his fingers sought out the depths of his hot flesh.

Reaching his hand down John Paul gripped firmly onto Craig's cock, running his fingers up and down its length, loving how hard it felt in his hand and knowing how good it would feel inside his body.

Pulling his fingers from the warmth of John Paul's body Craig rested his hands on the sofa on either side of the man and allowed John Paul's hand to guide his cock into his opening.

Both men gasped as the hardness of Craig's cock pushed gently against the tight ring of muscle before it opened up and allowed him access to the pleasures of John Paul's body.

John Paul's legs wrapped tightly around Craig's back, pulling the man closer against him as the hardness of his cock moved deeper inside. Their eyes were locked together in an unblinking gaze as their bodies moved in perfect harmony. Words had long since lost their meaning as their eyes spoke a language of their own, a language of pure love that was theirs alone.

The men's mouths crashed together as the need to join together completely overwhelmed them. Craig's cock drove fully into the tight heat of John Paul's body as John Paul's tongue thrust its way deeply into Craig's mouth. Their flesh was so joined that it would be hard to tell where one man ended and the other began as they became on entity enveloped inside their passion and love.

As he moved deeper and faster inside the perfect grip of John Paul's body Craig slid his hand between their bodies and gripped firmly onto John Paul's hard throbbing cock.

John Paul groaned as the pleasure of the fullness of Craig's cock inside him blended with the thrill of Craig's hand around his erection.

Craig could feel the pressure of his need building inside him, his body wanted to scream out its love and desire for the man beneath him, around him and he knew he wouldn't be able to resist its demands for long.

John Paul's fingers clawed at Craig's back, rising himself up to meet thrust after thrust as Craig cock drove into him, hitting that perfect spot time and time again until all conscious thought left him and John Paul knew nothing but total physical joy.

Craig could feel the man beneath him trembling, John Paul's cock pulsing hard and desperate and John Paul's moans blending with his own as they both raced towards satisfaction.

Craig's hand moved faster and harder in time with the increased power of his thrusting until John Paul had no more power to refuse his body and he cried out as the pleasure of his climax cascaded through him in wave after wave of unsurpassable bliss.

Feeling the pulse of John Paul's cock, spilling hotly over his hand, and the contractions of John Paul's body tight around his cock was the last push that Craig needed and, before John Paul's shuddering climax had even ended Craig yelled out, repeating John Paul's name over and over as his cock throbbed out its passion deep inside John Paul's perfect body.

The two men collapsed satisfied against each other, neither feeling any need or inclination to move any time soon.

"Welcome home!" Craig said with a laugh and a soft kiss to John Paul's cheek.

"If I'm gonna get a welcome like that I might have to go into hospital more often!"

"No way," Craig insisted with a serious tone, "Don't even joke about that… I couldn't stand it John Paul… not again… I really couldn't… I need you here… where I can look after you."

John Paul pressed his hand to Craig's cheek, his thumb brushing softly over the line of Craig's cheekbone.

"And there's nowhere else I would rather be."

---

John Paul was on his own when he awoke. At some point his naked body had been covered with a blanket and the young man stretched contentedly beneath it. His limbs held the telltale ache of his recent lovemaking and the warm memories of Craig's touch made him sigh happily.

A dull throb in his belly reminded John Paul of his injury and his hand travelled down to touch his scar. He knew that the wound would soon heal but the evidence of it would mark his body permanently. A reminder whenever he saw it that there would always be people in the world who disapproved of the love he shared with Craig and there would always be people who would try and take that love from him.

John Paul was surprised at how little that thought bothered him. He was aware that there would be battles head in his life but for a moment in time John Paul knew that nothing bad could touch him. Craig loved him, every inch of him, scars and all, and that was all John Paul needed, with that love he could face anything.

Hearing the sound of movement coming from the kitchen John Paul threw back the blanket that covered him, shivering from the sudden chill, and got to his feet.

Stretching his arms above his head John Paul curled his toes into the soft carpet beneath his feet and yawned.

He had no idea how long he had slept, what time of day it was or even if it was the same day he had come home. He could have been lying there for only minutes or it could have been hours, but however long it had been he felt rested and revived and, with a smile, he headed to the kitchen.

Craig was standing by the kettle, his shirt covering his shoulders but the rest of his body as bare as it had been when he left John Paul's side a few minutes earlier. John Paul stood in the doorway for a while, admiring the view of Craig's firm behind, a lighter shade of caramel than the rest of his body but still looking perfectly edible.

Padding through the room on silent bare feet John Paul slipped his arms around Craig's waist and rested his head on the man's shoulder.

"What's this?" John Paul chuckled looking at the two mugs laid out on the worktop, "Craig Dean making tea? Have I walked into a parallel universe?"

Craig wasn't surprise at the sudden presence of the man behind him, he had been aware of John Paul standing in the doorway as surely as he had been able to feel the cool tiles of the floor beneath his feet.

"Hey!" Craig objected with a laugh, "Any more of that from you and you can make your own tea."

"I'm not that thirsty anyway," John Paul said turning his face to nuzzle into Craig's neck.

Craig forgot about the tea as John Paul's teeth teased as his skin and his head fell back to expose more of his neck to John Paul's hungry mouth.

Craig shivered as John Paul's teeth sank into the soft flesh of his neck. Sucking against the sweetness of Craig's skin John Paul let his hands wander over the man's bare chest. It might have been minutes or hours since they last enjoyed the feel of each other but Craig was already moaning softly as John Paul's hands brushed over his nipples, making them harden at his tantalising touch and John Paul's growing hardness was pressing lightly against the softness of Craig's behind.

"God I can't get enough of you," John Paul breathed into Craig's ear, tracing the line of that perfect shell with the tip of his tongue.

"What can I say… I'm irresistible," Craig laughed; his bravado lessened somewhat by the whimpering moan of desperation as John Paul's hands stroked down over his thighs.

John Paul's hands moved over the outside of Craig's firm thighs to cup his buttock tightly, kneading them together, his thumbs brushing temptingly between for a second before moving away again.

As hard as John Paul's cock was starting to ache and as much as he wanted to plunge it deep and hard into the heat of Craig's delicious body John Paul was enjoying the sounds of Craig's longing moans to rush any moment of this pleasure.

"I love making you want me…" John Paul teased, his teeth nipping at Craig's skin until the man turned his face to claim a kiss. John Paul's tongue ran over Craig's lips, pushing between them to feel the smoothness of his teeth and the heat of his mouth.

John Paul's hands ran over Craig's belly, painfully close to the firm erection that was standing to desperate attention before moving downwards again to brush lightly over the man's balls.

Craig let his head fall down as a gasp growled deep in his throat. He knew it wouldn't be long before he had to beg John Paul to touch him, to enter him, to possess him. They had played this game so many times before, teasing each other, seeing who would break first, it was a game John Paul played so well and Craig always felt powerless to resist him.

Resting his firm cock between the softness of Craig's round buttocks John Paul lifted himself onto his toes, letting his cock ride between those two warm globes, its head pushing lightly against Craig's tight opening, before brushing past.

John Paul couldn't hold back the moan of pleasure as his cock slid up and down between Craig's cheeks, teasing himself as much as Craig, making them both want more, much more.

"God John Paul…" Craig's fingers clawed at the worktop as John Paul ran one fingertip the length of Craig's cock, stopping at its tip and circling it over the sensitive slit, spreading the drops of glistening precum.

Craig whimpered as John Paul raised his finger to his mouth and sucked against it.

"OK, OK you win," Craig conceded.

"Tell me…"

"I want you…" Craig cried out loudly as John Paul's fingers finally wrapped around his cock, stroking its length slowly and firmly.

"Tell me what you want," John Paul urged, pressing his cock against Craig's body.

"I want you… I want you inside me… Christ John Paul… please don't make me wait any longer…"

John Paul plunged his free hand into an open tub of margarine that was on the side, smearing the oily substance between Craig's buttocks, pressing against the throbbing opening until one slick finger was granted access.

"God yeah…" Craig panted, his head hanging down lower as he spread his legs wider apart, urging John Paul to go deeper. A second finger quickly joined the first; stretching Craig's tight body and making him tremble in anticipation.

"Say it Craig… you know I love hearing you say it…"

"Fuck me John Paul," Craig moaned as the fingers inside him moved harder and faster, "Please fuck me…"

"I thought you'd never ask!"

Spreading more margarine over his hard needy cock John Paul lined it up with Craig's slippery hole and gently pushed.

John Paul's cock entered Craig's body slowly, too slowly, he couldn't stand the waiting, he needed to feel John Paul inside him completely, instantly.

"Fuck me hard John Paul," Craig growled, pushing back, desperate for more.

John Paul couldn't resist Craig's erotic pleas and with a hard thrust he drove his cock deep inside the tightness of Craig's passage. Craig cried out as the fullness of John Paul ploughed into him, the initial discomfort passing in seconds as John Paul began to rock in and out of him.

"Fucking hell Craig you feel so good…" A soft sheen of sweat clung to John Paul's brow as he thrust hard and fast into the man's flawless body, every inch of it gripping his cock and giving him ultimate pleasure.

Craig's breaths came in short gasps as John Paul's hard thick cock rode him, John Paul's hand still gripping his cock, pumping it harder and faster, willing Craig on.

John Paul's arm wrapped around Craig's middle, pulling the man tight into him as his speed and urgency increased. The room echoed with cries of pleasure and moans of desperation as the two men felt their climaxes reaching their peaks.

"Harder… faster… fuck… yes…" Each of Craig's exclamations was joined with a deep throaty growl of pleasure as his cock throbbed hard in John Paul's palm. "I'm gonna… I'm…. oh fuck yes…."

John Paul drove his cock as hard and deep into Craig as he could, feeling the man's body tremble around him as the dark haired man screamed out his orgasm, the evidence of it spattering hotly against the cupboard doors as John Paul milked every last drop from him.

John Paul's body shuddered as the feeling and sounds of Craig's climax broke down any last strands of resistance and he moaned loudly as his own orgasm began to take him.

"Come inside me John Paul," Craig panted, "I want to feel it…"

John Paul cried out, fulfilling Craig's request gladly as his cock throbbed out its lust deep inside Craig's hot flesh until he too was completely spent.

John Paul rested his head back on Craig's shoulder breathless and satisfied.

"I think we need to get a new tub of margarine," he laughed softly.

Craig turned as John Paul's cock reluctantly withdrew from him. "I think we'd better get several," he said slipping his arms around John Paul's neck.

"What about the tea?" John Paul asked as Craig pulled him close.

"Later," Craig replied kissing his lover with such intensity that, for a moment, the world stopped spinning.

---

"Shit we're gonna be late…" John Paul said, straightening his tie as he virtually threw himself into the back of the taxi. "Lin's never gonna forgive us if we turn up after her!"

"Relax," Craig soothed, "We've got bags of time." Taking a look at his watch Craig mentally calculated the distance from the McQueen's house to the church. "We're gonna be late," he conceded with a grimace.

"Now I'm not one to lay blame," John Paul said after advising the taxi driver of their destination, and imparting the urgency of the situation. "But this really IS all your fault."

Craig stuck out his bottom lip in a sulky pout making John Paul giggle instantly.

"It's not funny," John Paul insisted between his chuckles, "Lin's gonna be furious if we arrive late!"

"I know… but I HAD to work yesterday… I couldn't help that… it was a critical meeting… otherwise we could have got here last night…"

John Paul raised an eyebrow at Craig's seemingly reasonable explanation.

"Yes… but that's NOT why we're late is it Craig…"

Craig grinned sheepishly. "It's not my fault," Craig mumbled. "It was being back in that room… and you look so damn hot in that suit!"

John Paul couldn't hold back the smile from his lips as his fingers sought out Craig's, lacing them together as they sat nervously in the taxi praying for green lights and no traffic.

They had arrived in Chester with plenty of time to make their way to their temporary lodgings at the McQueen house, get showered and changed, and still arrive at the church long before the bride.

And things had gone perfectly according to plan… at first.

Walking back into the McQueen house had felt a little surreal to the men, reminding them both of the year when so many stolen moments had been grasped inside those walls, when desperate kisses and stifled moans had been kept hidden from view, a wonderful dreadful secret that demanded its revelation in the end.

John Paul's old bedroom, the room the men would be sharing for the few days they were in Hollyoaks, was almost unchanged and echoes of the past seemed to reverberate through the walls. Memories of the times when they had clung to each other in a desperate attempt to forget the rest of the world, of holding and touching and kissing and slowly learning who they were and what they wanted… what they needed.

It seemed like a lifetime had passed and, as John Paul dropped his overnight bag onto the bed, he found it hard to believe that he had once been the boy who had slept in that room. His life had changed immeasurably since the last time he had lived in the house that had been his home for years, but he knew that the foundations built in that very room would last him the rest of his life.

"Penny for them?" Craig's voice and the weight of his chin as it came to rest on John Paul's shoulder pulled the man from his thoughts.

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child," John Paul recited, more to himself than to the man who was holding him in a warm embrace.

"What?"

John Paul shook his head and laughed softly. Turning in the circle of Craig's arms he pecked a quick kiss to the top of the man's nose.

"Doesn't matter," he said with a smile. "Come on… we have a wedding to get ready for."

Within twenty minutes both men were showered, dressed and ready to leave. Standing side by side in front of the full-length mirror the men smiled their satisfaction.

Suits were ironed, shoes shined and chins cleanly shaven.

John Paul grinned as he reached over to straighten Craig's crooked tie.

"That's better," he nodded into the mirror.

Craig's gaze was fixed on the image reflected before him. The figure of the man standing next to him seemed to shine from within the confines of the mirror. Two blue eyes that dazzled with life and with love looked back at Craig from the polished glass, taking his breath away and making him forget himself.

"God you look gorgeous in that suit," Craig said in a breathy voice as his eyes travelled over the figure of John Paul, clad in the deepest darkest blue, in a fabric that clung to his body gently, caressing his form and giving Craig the desperate need to see the man beneath.

Half an hour later freshly pressed suits were lying crumpled in a heap at the bottom of the bed while the two naked men lay breathless and flush above the freshly laundered duvet.

Looking at his watch John Paul grimace. "We're gonna be late," he said reluctantly pulling himself from the seductive comfort of Craig's arms.

"Five more minutes," Craig begged, reaching for John Paul and trying to pull him back to the bed.

"And YOU'RE gonna explain to Linda why we didn't make it to her wedding on time are you?" John Paul challenged.

With a defeated sigh Craig swung his legs over the side of the bed. "Good point," he agreed. "Come on… if we rush we should just about make it…"

---

John Paul felt as rush of relief as the taxi pulled up outside the church. There was no sign of the white limo that Linda had told him about, which hopefully meant she hadn't arrived yet.

Throwing a ten-pound note at the driver John Paul grabbed Craig's hand and pulled the man from the car, not waiting for his change, as they raced into the church.

Faces turned around to look at the two men as they half ran half walked the length of the church to be greeted by Patrick, who stood patiently waiting for his bride, as they arrived at the front pews.

"Alright lads?" Patrick said as he shook their hands in turn. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't get here in time…"

"Err… yeah… sorry," John Paul stammered, having the decency to blush a little. "We kinda got held up."

"Flight delays?" Patrick asked, nodding understandingly.

"Not exactly," Craig admitted. His eyes sparkled for a moment as they caught hold of John Paul's gaze before he turned his bashful smile back to the groom.

"So what…" Patrick paused as he observed the exchange between the two men. "Never mind," he said with a laugh, "I probably don't want to know!"

"Probably not," John Paul agreed with a chuckle. "So… getting nervous yet?"

Patrick considered the blonde man for a moment. His blue eyes sparkled with life and it made him think back to the sobbing phone call he had received from Linda less than six months earlier when that very same man had been fighting for his life in a Dublin hospital.

In the early days of his relationship with Linda Patrick had felt some small amount of jealousy over her closeness with John Paul. He had been unnerved that his new girlfriend should have such an intense relationship with another man, and he found it hard to believe that there was nothing sexual between them, especially when he saw how tightly they would hug each other or how softly they would exchange a kiss.

The first time Patrick met Craig, only a few days before the men left for Dublin, he knew instantly his mistake. John Paul had never touched Linda like that, never looked at the beautiful blonde woman in that way. What Patrick witnessed between the two men a total unfailing love, the like of which he had never seen before.

The like of which he never saw again until the day he told Linda he was in love with her.

"No," Patrick said in a considered reply to John Paul's question. "What's to be nervous about? I'm marrying the most wonderful, beautiful, gentle, caring, amazing woman in the world… I just wish she'd hurry up and get here… she's starting to take liberties with the bride's prerogative to be late thing!"

"Perhaps she's changed her mind," Craig teased, a comment that earned him a stern look from John Paul.

Patrick just laughed. "That's never gonna happen," he replied confidently and, as if to validate his faith, the first chords of music began to play as the congregation rose to their feet, heads turned in unison to watch the bride begin her slow walk towards her future husband.

Linda felt a strange sense of elation. She had expected to feel nervous and exposed as she walked down the aisle, her arm linked with her father's, as most of her friends and family watched, but instead she felt excited and alive, her entire attention consumed by the sight of the man waiting for her.

John Paul watched, swallowing heavily as he tried to force down the lump that seemed to have settled in his throat. He couldn't remember ever seeing his friend look more beautiful. Linda's simple ivory dress lightly skimmed her shoulders, hugging flatteringly around the bodice before fanning out to softly brush against the top of her satin shoes. Her hair glistened under the sunlight that shone through the stained glass windows, catching on the jewels that had been weaved into her golden locks and giving her an angelic aura.

But it wasn't Linda's dress, or her make up, or her hair that took John Paul's breath away as the beautiful woman smiled at him, it was the love that shone from her eyes and the contentment that radiated from her face.

Feeling fingers curling around his John Paul looked down to see Craig's hand gripping him tightly. As he looked into his boyfriend's face John Paul was surprised to see Craig's soft brown eyes shining with unshed tears as the bride and groom were finally side by side and ready to take the first step on the rest of their lives together.

Craig's hand held John Paul's tightly throughout the service, the strength of his grip increasing as Linda's soft clear voice spoke the words of love that would bind her forever to the man she adored.

Linda spoke her vows calmly, her eyes never leaving the soft blue-grey gaze that held her spellbound. She had never really expected to find "true love", not the kind she had often read about and dreamed about. In fact before seeing John Paul with Craig, seeing the intensity of their love, Linda hadn't even been certain there was such a thing. John Paul and Craig had shown Linda how love looked. Patrick had taught her how it felt. As Linda's new husband kissed her lips gently she knew that she had found true happiness.

---

"Patrick tells me you were late," Linda scolded her two friends as they all stood outside the church posing for photographs.

"Err yeah," John Paul admitted, "We…err… we got held up!"

"Let me guess…" Linda turned her attention from the photographer to look at the brown and blue-eyed men with a knowing smile. "You were ready to leave the house when suddenly you couldn't keep your hands off each other… am I right?"

"How DOES she do that?" Craig asked with an amused grimace.

"She just knows us too well!" John Paul laughed.

"I know more about you that you might think?" Linda said mischievously as she smiled for the camera.

"Such as?" Craig enquired.

Linda couldn't hold back her laughter. "These photos should come out well," she said before turning her smile to Craig. "After all YOU ARE very photogenic!"

Craig's brow furrowed for a second as the meaning behind Linda's words penetrated his mind.

"John Paul you DIDN'T." Craig gasped in shock.

John Paul shook his head in protest. "Tell him you're winding him up Lin… I never showed you those pictures…"

"John Paul never showed me those pictures," Linda admitted. "The ones that he kept under his pillow!"

"LINDA!"

"Look I'm sorry," Linda couldn't control her giggles as the two men looked at her aghast. "It was an innocent mistake… honestly… I was doing a wash and thought I'd be kind and throw your bedding in at the same time…"

"I don't remember you washing my bedding," John Paul said thoughtfully.

"Well no," Linda replied, "Just as I was about to strip the bed… I pulled the pillows off and there was your little stash… I didn't want you to know I'd found them… so I put everything back and didn't mention it."

"And you didn't look?" Craig said slowly.

"Well erm…" Linda grinned at the deep flush that slowly crept over Craig's cheeks. "I couldn't really resist! Hell Craig… it's not like you've got anything to be embarrassed about! Those photos were definitely your good side!"

John Paul folded his arms across his chest in an attempt to hold back the laughter that was shaking his body. With each shocked look or declaration of dismay from Craig his laughs seemed to increase ten-fold.

"Tell you what Lin," Craig said with a determined grin. "Check your emails when you get back off honeymoon… I think it's only fair you get the other half of the set!"

John Paul's laughter faded as he looked into the face of his lover and tried to decide if the man was joking.

With satisfaction Craig turned back to the photographer and smiled.

---

"That's DJ's not a patch on you," Craig said nodding towards the short dark-haired man behind the record decks.

"Hmm?" John Paul asked looking up from the table where he had been doodling with a puddle of spilt lager.

"That DJ… he's not much cop," Craig said with a smile.

John Paul turned his head to the man who was lining up another "wedding-friendly" track and shrugged. "It's a wedding isn't it… he's expected to play all this stuff…"

"You alright?"

"What?"

"You've gone all quiet… is everything OK?"

John Paul turned his full attention to Craig. The dark haired man looked breathtaking in his suit and his deep dark eyes shone with concern. Tilting his head to one side John Paul took in the stunning features of the man before him. Craig's was a face he saw every day and yet he rarely seemed to find the time to just stop and appreciate it. To admire the chocolate eyes that could sparkle with such incredible passion, the soft mouth that would smile in a way John Paul knew was for him alone and the gentle curve of those cheeks that always felt so warm and soft under his lips.

"I love you."

Three simple words. Three words that John Paul had spoken countless times. Three words that both men had repeated over and over to each other without ever losing their meaning. And yet this time when Craig heard them it made his heart leap like it had the first time John Paul had declared his feelings.

John Paul's blue eyes were a stunning shade of azure that Craig wasn't sure he had ever seen before and for a while he lost sight of everything but the man sat across the table from him.

Reaching out his hand Craig curled his fingers around John Paul's, not even noticing as his sleeve skimmed the lager-doodle. Craig wanted to say "I love you too" but it didn't seem enough. Those simple words didn't even come close to describing how he felt at that moment, how he had felt every moment since John Paul came back into his life. No language had been created that could contain the words that would sufficiently express his love but, as two sets of eyes locked together, they both knew that no words were needed.

After an eternity, a few hours, a couple of minutes or possibly only a second John Paul's attention was dragged from the intensity of Craig's eyes as two warm arms wrapped around his shoulders and soft lips pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Having a good time?" Linda asked as John Paul's gaze turned to her.

"You bet," John Paul replied, letting go of Craig's hand, as he turned in his seat to pull the new bride into his arms. "So how does it feel to be a married woman then?"

Linda's smile illuminated her face as she stepped back, catching John Paul's hands in her own.

"God John Paul I… I never thought I could be this happy…" Linda's eyes flickered across the room to seek out the face of her husband, her smile widening as she found him.

"You deserve it Lin," John Paul said with total sincerity as he squeezed her hands tightly.

"I never really got it," Linda said softly, "You know… when you used to tell me what Craig meant to you… but now… it's incredible isn't it?"

John Paul laughed gently as he noticed Linda unable to tear her gaze from her husband as she spoke. He was certain that Linda had no idea how much he had relied on her friendship and support over the years and now, seeing her that happy, seeing her that much in love, made his heart sing with joy.

"There's nothing in the world like it," John Paul agreed, turning his head to catch a glimpse of Craig. Craig's smile was full and bright as John Paul looked at him, their eyes linking together in a connection that neither man had ever felt with anyone else. "Nothing in the whole world."

"Ladies and Gentlemen…" The DJ's voice cut across the room as he faded out the song that was playing. "If you would all like to raise your glasses and welcome onto the dance floor… the Bride and Groom."

Linda exchanged a quick smile with John Paul before walking slowly to the centre of the dance floor where Patrick was already waiting for her. As the first chords of music filled the room Patrick pulled his wife into his arms to the cheers and applause of their family and friends.

Patrick's lips brushed lightly over Linda's as his arms slid around her waist, their smiles perfect reflections of each other as they swayed in time to the music that filled the room.

_It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear.  
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair.  
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"  
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."_

"I love you Mrs Tyler," Patrick breathed softly into Linda's ear. The sound of her new name made Linda lean back slightly to drink in the beauty of her husband's eyes. She had never dreamed that anyone could ever look at her with such complete love and she knew, without question or hesitation, that this was the man she had been waiting all of her life for.

"I love you too Mr Tyler," Linda replied, her eyes shimmering with tears, sparkling under the lights that warmly illuminated the dance floor and its two solitary occupants.

_I feel wonderful because I see  
The love light in your eyes.  
And the wonder of it all  
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you._

Patrick echoed the words lightly, just loud enough for Linda to hear, holding her a little tighter as he sang, "you just don't realize how much I love you" before kissing her gently, sealing his promise of love with his lips.

_And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,  
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.  
Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight."_

Neither of the newlyweds noticed as the dance floor slowly began to fill with their guests, the presence of each other was all that they needed and all they were aware of.

John Paul's face held a deep smile as he watched his dearest friend and confidant for many years dancing in the arms of her husband on her wedding day. They had seen each other through so many highs and lows over the years since they first met and John Paul knew that he couldn't have asked more for her than to have found the love she had with Patrick. Turning his attention back to Craig he knew that they had both been blessed.

"Dance with me?" John Paul asked, getting to his feet and holding out his hand to Craig.

For the first time since John Paul had returned to his life Craig felt a moment of hesitation and doubt. Not a doubt for his feelings, but in his own confidence that he could show them in this room full of strangers.

The fear that a younger Craig Dean had once felt at an airport suddenly haunted him for no reason. The room was filled with Linda and Patrick's family and friends and Craig felt strangely vulnerable in front of them. The old "what ifs" seemed to explode inside his brain and Craig became paralysed, unable to rise from his chair to fulfil such a simple request.

John Paul saw the look in Craig's eyes, a look he hadn't seen for years, and let his hand fall to his side.

"Silly idea… doesn't matter," he said with a laugh that didn't take away the hurt look of disappointment in his eyes.

Craig's gaze wandered to the dance floor where Linda was still blissfully enrobed in her husband's arms. Shaking his head Craig got to his feet as if the sight of Linda had spurred him on. That beautiful woman was happily dancing with the man she loved and Craig realised there was no reason on earth that he shouldn't be able to do the same thing. As quickly as the doubts assaulted him they seemed to fade away.

"Yes it does." Craig insisted as he took a hold of John Paul's hand, leading him into the centre of the dance floor and circling his arms around the man's waist.

John Paul's arms slid around Craig's shoulders as they moved closely together, their bodies moving gently in time to the music, his finger tips brushed lightly against Craig's neck as he pressed his face to Craig's and closed his eyes.

Craig's heart raced as they danced. Not with fear or doubt, but with love and joy, with the absolute pleasure of holding the man he loved in his arms, proudly declaring his feelings to anyone who cared to look.

Linda caught sight of her friends and felt a warm glow of contentment. The two men looked as happy as she felt and Linda knew she couldn't ask any more for her friends.

"Craig?" John Paul's breath was hot against Craig's neck as he whispered the man's name.

"Hmm?"

"Marry me?"

Craig's footsteps faltered as he relaxed his hold on John Paul to step back slightly and look into the man's face. He half expected to see John Paul laughing at his joke but instead John Paul's brilliant sapphire eyes glowed with sincerity.

"What?" Craig gasped, still uncertain that he had heard correctly.

"I love you Craig," John Paul said, "I can't imagine a second of my life without you in it… you're my… you're everything to me… I guess I just wanna show the world… show you… how much I love you… that we're for keeps… I…" John Paul paused as Craig looked at him with an unblinking stare. "I… I don't know… never mind… I'm just being an idiot…"

"Yes."

"Yes that I'm an idiot?"

"Yes that I love you and I want to marry you," Craig replied with a laugh. Craig was surprised by the words coming from his mouth but even as he spoke them he knew that it was what he wanted more than anything he had ever wanted before in his life.

"Really?" John Paul asked with a shocked and happy grin.

"I…" Craig struggled for the words and once again language let him down. "I… yes… really…"

John Paul felt like shouting at the top of his voice as he pulled Craig close to him. Neither of them had noticed the change in music as they continued to dance to the music that rang through their heads and their hearts. Craig could feel John Paul's heart beating against his own, playing their rhythm in perfect synchronisation as John Paul's lips pressed into the crook of his neck.

"I can't wait to tell everyone," Craig said with an excited giggle. "Lin's gonna flip!"

"But not today yeah?"

"Why not?" Craig couldn't believe how uncertain he had felt about dancing with John Paul only moments earlier and now he wanted to climb up on the nearest table and tell them all he was going to marry that gorgeous man with stunning blue eyes.

John Paul leant his head back to see the excitement that shone in Craig's deep chocolate eyes, an excitement that he could feel bubbling inside his own chest and he wanted nothing more than to announce to the world how happy that wonderful man had made him.

"Nah… this is Linda's day," John Paul said, "Let's keep our news for another time…"

Craig nodded his understanding as he rested his head against John Paul's shoulder, his arms holding the man tightly to his chest.

"So what do we do for now?" Craig asked quietly.

"That's simple," John Paul explained as he tightened his grip on his boyfriend, or rather his fiancé. "We keep dancing."


End file.
